[Announcer]
Princess Rap Battle. Mrs. Claus versus Mary Poppins!

[Mary]
When there’s a looming battle to be faced and fought, the lesson is: get right to it
Practically perfect people prefer to be polite, but sometimes you just have to say “screw it”
You never get applause
You’re the dependent Claus
You’re known for wrapping toys
But my rapping skill destroys
I’m money in the Banks so show some respect
If you tear me up like paper then I’ll resurrect
And I suspect you should check your cholesterol twice
Hey, fat cat, how are you at catching mice?
You’re like a piecrust, so easily smashed
I’ll feed the birds what’s left of you once you’ve been trashed
I hear it’s been years since the North Pole got rigid
Today’s forecast says you’re entirely frigid

[Mrs. Claus]
Don’t go there, honey, the word around town
Is just a spoonful of sugar gets you to go down
The parrot on your parasol does nothing but protest (Hey!)
You’re a stuck-up servant, ho-ho-horribly dressed
The biggest charity since ever, we help the masses
With you a couple kids get splinters in their asses (Cheeky!)
Your rhymes are weak - you’re a low stakes player
Come at me, freak - I’ll one-horse open slay ya
I’m behind the scenes, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb
I run the workshop, keep the books, and advise my sugar plum
I’m a baker, all about these rolls, a big broad bruiser
Even your reflection thinks you’re a loser