B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man

I'm a business man with a business plan
I’m gonna make you money in business land
I'm a cool guy talkin' ’bout GameStop
I'm definitely not a cop

Why'd you say you're not a cop?
Because I'm not
I think that you're a cop
I also think that you're a cop

Listen boys, you better both stop
Or I'll have you arreste—, I’m not a cop

I’m a business man with a business tan
I spend my days in a big black unmarked van
If you wanna talk turkey, I'm here to talk shop
I’m definitely not a cop

You're a motherfucking cop
I can tell from the way that you stand
And you said that you worked in an unmarked van

Well listen, boys
I'm not a cop
I'm a business man in a coffee shop
With a loaded pistol and a bulletproof vest
I saw my wife get killed by the drug cartel
I’m not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man
Why does he have a gun?
Ski-bi-di-bi-dap-dap-dap-di-bi-dap (Business)

Calling Officer Jackson, has your cover been blown?
Is that your police radar?
That was my business phone
And the cover they're referring to
Is when I sung "Money" by Pink Floyd
Yeah, that's a business song

Saying "business" before another word
Doesn't make the whole thing business related
And if I may critique the whole police system
Then— oh, look, there's a sniper pointed at my forehead
No, it's not
Yes, it is (No, it's not)
See this little red dot? (Yes)
That's for a sniper shot
There's no snipers here and there's no police plot
(Snipers ready) Do it now, take the shot
I'm a business man, speaking with two friends
And one of them has a single chickenpock on their head
I don't know the guy who's dressed in camouflage
With an M-21 pointed at your friend's head

You shouldn't have said that
I think you've really upset him
What do you mean you don't know me?
I was the best man at your wedding
I'm a business man, I'm not friends with snipers
Oh yeah?
Oh yeah

Ah! You shot me in the leg! (You shot him in the leg)
You shot me in my left leg! (You shot him in his left leg)
He's a business man who's definitely not a cop
But now he's been shot in his left leg

How about now?
No, I still don't know you
Say my name!
I don't know your name!
Why don't you say his name?
He's gonna shoot you again
I told you, I don't know his na—
Oh, he shot my other leg! (He shot his other leg)
He shot me in my right leg! (He shot him in the right leg)
He's a business man getting shot in his legs
By his ex-best man, he is not a cop

Say my name
No, you've got a dumb name
Ugh, fine! Dwink Bexon
What?
That's his name, Dwink Bexon
Oh, that's, that's fine
Okay, that's a name, I suppose
That's a pretty dumb name

Ah! Dwink Bexon just shot me in the tits!
Ah! Dwink, stop shooting my business associates!
I'm a bad cop and if you couldn't tell
I also killed your wife in that drug cartel

Call for backup or we're all gonna die
Just admit that you're police and save our lives
Boys, I'd do anything to make the shooting stop
But I've told you before, I'm not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man (Business)
B-B-B-B-Business man (Business man)
B-B-B-B-Business man (Oh yeah)
I told you before, I'm in business only
With a b-b-b-briefcase
And a b-b-b-ballpoint pen, ah
He's definitely not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man