[TAIL & HORSE]
Whoa-oh-oah
Somebody give me a microphone (Please don’t.)
Somebody lend me the stage (Oh, my gosh...)
I’m here because I hafta make you split your sides with laughter
So glad you let me out of my cage
(Well, you're splitting my sides alright.)

Somebody let me entertain you! (I’m good, I don't need- ugh...)
I’m kinda the comedic holy grail (No, you’re not!)
I didn’t wanna share this
Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed!
Well, hello there, So Embarrassed
My name’s Tail! (Ugh.)

You might think that I’m the BUTT of the joke (Cute.)
But I tell ya, when I’m up here, I never choke (Ugh.)
The spotlight isn’t scary
When you’re eyeless, limp, and hairy (What?)
I’m the MANE attraction! Get it?
Have a laugh with me, folks

[TAIL & HORSE, spoken]
(Oh - 'Mane', I got it.)
Say, I’ve got a joke about paper that’s... TEAR-ible!
Oh! That is so bad!
I got another joke about towels, but it’s a little dry
Okay. I will chop you off and I’m-
Say, where do you keep the skeletons locked up?
Rrrrgh... No! I'm not gonna-! I don't-!

In a rib cage, eh? Hah- one for the prison crowd!
Okay... Y'know what? That’s enough. Stop it! Stop it okay?
Airplane food, am I right?
What’s that have to do with anythi-!?
That doesn't even make se- ow, ow, ow, ow!
Did you just bite me?
Maybe... Could you TAIL?
Oh, somebody get me some scissors!

[TAIL & HORSE]
So now you see-
I don’t mind being the butt of the joke (Ugh.)
Guess this is my life now

I’m just here to provoke, make ya laugh 'til you croak
‘Cause I am...
The butt of the joke!

[TAIL, spoken]
Thank you so much, folks! I am here all night
You can find me attached to this horse's behind