[SHILL JOURNALIST]
Well Geoff Keighley had that Mountain Dew
Jessica Chobot got into ME3
Well, master you're in luck, cause our reviews
Can be had for a tiny fee!

You've got some power in your rehash now
Some heavy ammunition for your game
You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is give some cash, and I'll say

Mr. Developer, what will your pleasure be
Let me write you some fiction, jot it down
You ain't never had friend like me!

Shitaku is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd
Come on whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had friend like me!

Yes sir we pride ourselves on service
For very reasonable rates
Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish
How bout a little more advert space?

I won't bother playing it
The freebies are all I need!
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had friend like me!

(Images of 1/10 and 2/10 turning into 9/10 and 10/10)
Can your PR do this?
Can your PR do that?
Can your PR pull scores, out of their little hat?
Can your PR go POOF! Well, looky here!
(Picture of Jeff Gerstmann and Kane & Lynch review)
Can your PR go Alacadabra let - er- rip, and then make the sucker disappear?

So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers
You got me bona fide, certified, you got a journalist for a small fare!

I got a powerful urge for some free stuff, so what you wish I really wanna know
You got a PR release that's 3 miles long, no doubt, all I have to do is write like so!

Mr. Developer, have a review or 2 or 3
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had friend like me!