[EA]
Who do they think they are? These gamers have tangled with the wrong publisher. NO-ONE talks down to EA!

[EA SUPPORTER]
Huh. Darn right!

[EA]
Voted Worst Company in America two years in a row. Why, it's more than I can bear

[EA SUPPORTER]
More beer?

[EA]
What for? Nothing helps. I’m disgraced

[EA SUPPORTER]
Who, you? Never! EA, you've got to pull yourself together

Gosh it disturbs me to see you EA
Looking as sad as can be
Every dev here'd love to be you, EA
Even though you won Worst Company

There’s no dev in town as admired as you
You're EVERYONE'S publishing dream!
Those entitled gamers are jealous of you
And they're not quite as bad as they seem!

No one's as large as EA
As in charge as EA
No one's profits come in on a barge like EA
We made millions from our online passes
And Gamestop took most of the blame
You can ask any high-rank investor
And they'll tell you whose name gets seed money for games

[Chorus]
No one's plush as EA
Or can rush like EA

[EA SUPPORTER]
Or can churn out quick sequels for dosh like EA

[EA]
Dragon Age 2 sold a million copies!

[Chorus]
We love publishers like EA!

Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 whoppees!

[EA SUPPORTER]
EA just released Mass Effect DLC!

[Chorus]
No one’s clean as EA
Takes on Steam like EA

[EA]
Or can seperate crop from the cream like EA

[GAMER GIRLS]
For there’s no one else with such a vision

[EA]
As you can see, I've got ideas to spare

[EA SUPPORTER]
And no piracy will go unnoticed

[EA]
That’s right! Our Origin looks through computers with care!

[Chorus]
No one shines like EA
Is divine like EA

[EA SUPPORTER]
Or could slice up a dev for a dime like EA

[EA]
I'm especially good at eviscerating! Ha!

[Chorus]
Ten cents for EA!

[EA]
When I was a lad, I closed 8 studios
Like Origin, Maxis, Bullfrog
And just yesterday, I closed 9 studios
To let all of them know who's top dog!

[Chorus]
No one scores like EA
Handles sports like EA

[EAS SUPPORTER]
Or desaturates Battlefield 4 like EA!

[EA]
All those colorblind people are IRRITATING!

[Chorus]
Say it again
For the King of Next-Gen
And let's say it once more
Whose the best publisher?
Who’s been super-successful despite anarchists
And entitled lousy hangers-on?
There's just one dev in town who's got all of it down

[EA SUPPORTER]
And its name's N-I-N... T...
V-A-L-V... E...
U-B-I-S-O... ugh

[ALL]
EA!