[Intro, Spoken]
This is about the--
Amazeballsn't (Amazeballsn't, sn't)
Peachy!

[Chorus]
(That looks amazing!)
It's too good to be true
I'd think someone like you
Could grasp a clue
But guess not, boo (Blessed)

[Verse 1]
If it's a Christmas present
Why's it here in November?
Lost your mind? Supposed to be December
If there's an idiot club, I'm not a member
Because I at least have common sense
And your brain is immense (-ly small! Sheesh)

[Pre-Chorus]
Cuz if I were you, I'd notice that

[Chorus]
It's too good to be true
I'd think someone like you
Could grasp a clue
But guess not, boo
[Post-Chorus, Spoken]
Turtles (The fuck?)

[Verse 2]
Get ya brain fixed, get ya brain fixed
Bitch, why your opinions mixed?
Pick a side, Mr. Indecisive
Wish you were at least divisive
You're a human crisis (Merry crisis!)
No thanks to be giving (It's giving.. thanks)
So dumb that you're barely living

[Pre-Chorus]
Cuz if I were you, I'd notice that

[Chorus]
It's too good to be true
I'd think someone like you
Could grasp a clue
But guess not, boo

[Post-Chorus]
Where the fuck are the avocodos? (A Vine reference, the fuck?)
(Fre sha- Fre sha voc ado!)

[Outro]
I hope you notice that you aren't needed
Because if you were a file, you'd already be deleted
(Bitch, you're too corny!)