[CARMEN, spoken]
I'm sorry, Elaine, but as a Broadway producer, there's something much more important to me than you getting a star turn

[BAMBI, spoken]
What?

[CARMEN, spoken]
Me turning a profit!

(sung)
I've never been known as one of those stupid clucks
Elaine...

[BAMBI, spoken]
Bambi

[CARMEN]
Who pisses away a lot of her hard-earned bucks
Elaine...

[BAMBI, spoken]
Bambi!

[CARMEN]
But facing the fact your coloratura sucks
Bambi!
Though it breaks your mother's heart
Forget about the part
It's time for you to know
Why I really backed this show
You asked me for my motives
Well, you needn't be so smart
It's a business!
It isn't making history
It isn't making art
It's a business!
Shaw and Ibsen
Take 'em away
And don't bother me with Molierе
Those Russians never pay

So, go on, criticizе me
Please proceed with your attack
It's a business!
I put one million in
And I expect two million back
It's a business!
So what crime have I committed?
If I'm putting up a fight
It's a business!
And I want those paying suckers out there
Giving me the business every night!

(spoken)
Am I getting through to you, Elaine?
[BAMBI, spoken]
I'm sorry, mother, but to me, the theater is a temple!

[CARMEN, spoken]
What, so it should only be filled on Shabbos?! Give me a hand, fellas

(The STAGEHANDS give her half-hearted applause)

[CARMEN, spoken]
Very funny. You know what I mean! Back me up!

(sung)
The not-for-profit theaters
Don't need to turn a buck
That's not business!

[STAGEHANDS}
That's not business!

[CARMEN]
So, give them Lysistrata
And I wish them lots of luck
I do business!

[STAGEHANDS]
She does business!
[CARMEN]
Gorky, schmorky
Money misspent
You won't survive Yom Kippur
You'll never get through Lent!

I once knew a producer
Whose pretension knew no bounds
In the business!

[STAGEHANDS]
In the business!

[CARMEN]
He once mounted Samuel Beckett—
I don't mean it like it sounds
It was business!

[STAGEHANDS]
It was business!

[CARMEN]
So now he's down in the crapper
While I'm working in my prime
It's a business

[STAGEHANDS]
It's a business

[CARMEN]
And the shows I do do business
Cause I really know my business
And I'm giving them the business, honey, all the time!

[BAMBI, spoken]
But what about the great poets of the stage?

[CARMEN, spoken]
Honey, I put on The Iceman Cometh and nobody cameth!

(sung)
To stagehands, to the dressers
To musicians in the pit
It's a business

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
It's a business!

[CARMEN]
The owners of these premises
Cleans up if we're a hit
He's in business!

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
He's in business!

[CARMEN]
Union members
Don't work for free
Hey, Harry, on the spotlight!
Blink twice if you agree!

(As the SPOTLIGHT blinks twice)
See?

I'm not devoid of culture
But my feet are on the floor
It's a business!

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
It's a business!

[CARMEN]
I'd do the Kama Sutra
With a Richard Rodgers score
That's good business!

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
That's good business!

[CARMEN]
Yes, green's my favorite color
And I don't mean on the grass
It's a business...

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
It's a business...

[CARMEN]
And the shows I do do business
Yes, I'm good at doing business
And if you don't like my business, sweetie
Blow it out your—

[CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
Business!

[STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
It's a business!

[CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, and JOHNNY]
It's a business!