[Verse 1: Lizzie]
Feast your eyes as I share my glorious wares
They're precious antiques, they're exquisitely rare
A magical ink sac, some ancient bamboo, a dish of deliciously devilish stew
Make up your mind, what fabulous find will it be?

[Spoken: Scott]
I don't suppose you have any glorious foot-wears?

[Verse 2: Lizzie]
I've got a fishing rod, an enchanted book
An iron ingot and a tripwire hook
A hand-crafted stick and a powerful bow
A dinosaur bone and a tasty potato
Make up your mind
What fabulous find will it be?

[Chorus: Lizzie]
I've got a deal with destiny, a bargain with fate
This business is bound to profit me
As long as that fool takes the bait

[Verse 3: Scott]
I mean that's all very nice. It's all very well
But I've got those things at Rivendell
I'm hoping for something a little bit new
Those boots over there, look like they can do
I've made up my mind
That fabulous find is for me
[Spoken: Lizzie]
They're just old leather but one man's trash is another man's treasure
They're yours!

[Verse 4: Scott]
I actually meant the shinier pair
Would they be something you're willing to spare?
You know, I like diamonds, you know I love gold
And teal just suits me, or so I've been told
I made up my mind
That fabulous find is for me

[Chorus: Scott]
I've got a deal with destiny, a bargain with fate
This business is bound to profit me
As long as that fool takes the bait

[Verse 5: Lizzie]
That sounds fair, but what about me?
I'm a generous soul, but I don't give for free
Rivendell has such a lot in its coffers
Surely, there's something of worth you can offer?

[Spoken: Scott]
Um, of course
[Bridge: Scott]
I've got the oldest wood from the tallest pine
The toughest stone from the deepest mine
The purest snow from the highest peak
The softest wool from the fluffiest sheep
Make up your mind
What fabulous find will it be?

[Spoken: Lizzie & Scott]
How about that robe?
Not a chance
How about the owls?
Absolutely not
That thing looks interesting
What thing?
That thing in your hand?
You've been holding it this whole time
Oh, this piece of ju- uh, I mean, valuable treasure
Yes, that's what I want
So, do we have a deal?
Deal

[Chorus: Lizzie, Scott, & Both]
I've got a deal with destiny (I've got a deal with destiny)
A bargain with fate
This business is bound to profit me (And it's bound to profit me)
Now that this fool’s made a deal with destiny (I’ve got a deal with destiny)
A bargain with fate
This business is bound to profit me (And I'm bound)
Now that this fool took the bait
[NON-STREAMING SERVICES OUTRO]

[Spoken: Lizzie]
Finally, the Ocean Orb is mine
But what do I do with it?
I don't understand
What's happening to me?
My skin, it’s turning blue
And is that a tail?

[Chorus: Lizzie]
I got to deal with destiny
I've bargained with fate
This business is bounded to the prophecy
Am I the fool?
Have I just made a mistake?