[Verse 1: Lizzie]
Isn't this an awful piece of news to start the day?
I heard that Joey took my axolotl far away
And while in flight that evil thief did tumble off the tower
But still he took my baby boy, my darling little flower
So I left my empire and I took a jungle treck
I found his central temple and I stormed right up the steps
Angered by his insolence and driven to a rage
I stole the Tiger Blood Prince and I put him in a cage

[Verse 2: Lizzie, Joey, Sausage]
I spotted Joey spying so I put him to the test
"Let us meet at sundown in the desert to the west
Nobody gets hurt and we still both get our own way"
He said, "If you try any funny business, there'll be hell to pay"
I went to visit Sausage in his empire to the south
A place where many enter, but few ever make it out
He laughed and he said "Welcome to the assassin's guild!"
I informed him of the stand-off and I said "Have Joey killed"

[Bridge: Lizzie]
So we met at sundown by the desert rail tracks
We both pressed the lever and we got our babies back
Then Sausage the assassin shot us both stone dead
He said he double-crossed me then he tossed me Joey's head
[Outro: Lizzie]
We both got what we wanted
And we got what we deserved
In our selfishness we both forgot to self-preserve
And so a double-murder somehow brought us back together
And now our pair of Empires can live in peace forever
Right?