Hi, Larry, it's good to have you back on our panel

Hi, Dave, it's really great to be back on your panel

I'm sure the people at home will be interested
Why such a large dwarf as you is all dressed up like Frank Zappa
Tell us, Larry, what's the deal?

He made me do it, Dave, he's such a creep
He's making me hold this Aladdin

And why is he making you do that, Larry?

He wants me to fuck the girl with the harp

He wants you to fuck the girl with the harp

No, no, with the magic lamp
He wants me to stuff it up her and rub it

Let's ask our studio audience
If you'd just been lowered down here on TV
By a wire connected to a brown leather harness
Forced by a crazy person to insert a mysterious imported lamp
Into the reproducti—, rep—
Into, into the rep—, reproductive orifice of a lady harpist
And you were a dwarf
Would you do it?
Yes!

Let's spin The Big Weel, Larry
Go ahead, give it a whirl

What our studio audience doesn't know
Is that the reason Larry the Dwarf is doing all this stuff
Is because it's all part of the score to 200 Motels
Every word, every action
The lamp, the reproductive orafice
It's all in the score, so he has to do it
This whole event is a fantasy that occurred touring on the road
Touring can make you crazy, ladies and gentleman
That is precisely what 200 Motels is all about