[Intro, spoken]
Today was a Valentine's day, and a lot of people got a lot of cool cards, and even hand-made acorn-yarn foot cosies. But did I get any cards? Did I get anything? No!

[Chorus]
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day

[Verse 1]
Did you even get one?
I got exactly none!
Did you even get two?
The answer is nuuuu!
Did you even get three?
No, obviously!
Did you even get four?
If I didn't get three, how could I get more? So, no!

[Chorus]
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day

[Verse 2]
You wanted cards galore
And then you wanted some more!
Instead, you got squat!
Are they your friends or not?
My friends would have to see
How much cards mean to me!
But how's this gonna end
After I speak to my friends?
Then I'll know!
[Chorus]
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day
No no no!
No cards for me, on Valentine's day