[Spoken Intro]
The Twelve Daze of Christmas. I'd like to dedicate this to each and every one of you. Because I know at one time or another, we have all participated in such a similar saturation, err, situation

[Verse 1]
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 2]
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two Cutty Sarks
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 2]
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three Old Crows
Two Cutty Sarks
And a tree, and the partridge and thе, yes

[Verse 3]
On the fifth, fourth day, five, fivе day, haha
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave—
Five dry Rah-Rah's
Four Old Fitzgeralds
Three Old Crows
Two Cutty—
And a tree, and a tree, haha, woo, woo, ooh!
I'm so, haha
[Verse 4]
On the seventh Chris—
On the Seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to—
Seven Johnnie Walkers
Six Cuba Libre's, Rah-Rah
Four Old Fitzgeralds
Three Old Crows
Two Cutty S—
And a t—, yeah, ahh

[Verse 5]
On the nine day of Christmas
On the ninth day of Christmas
[Coughing]
My true love, true love gave to me
Nine Marga—, Mar—, no
[Drunk Rambling]
A picture in the store
Nine Margaritas
Eight sweet Old Fashioned
Six Johnny Walkers
[Drunk Rambling]
Four Old Fitzgeralds, three Old Crows
[Whistles]
Haha, on the tenth d—, on the tenth, blah, haha
Ooh-ooh-ooh, haha
Haha, blech!
That's okay, I'll be alright
[Verse 6]
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven, Bloody Mary's
[Drunk Rambling]
Nine
[Drunk Rambling]
Eight three Old Fashioned
[Drunk Rambling]
Four Old Fitzgeralds
Three [Drunk Rambling]
And a, and a tree in the middle

[Verse 7]
On the twelfth day of Christmas
[Drunk Rambling]
And all through the house, mess
I hear the music of Peter Gibb
And a song for the birds
[Whistling]
Hey, it's mating season! Ahh

[Outro]
You [bleep] birds
Give Old Fitzgeralds
Three Old Crows
Two city bach's
And a partridge in a pear tree