[HANRATTY]
Stop your sobbin' kid, before I shoot
Your nose is running on my only suit
Who'd of thought I'd share this dance with you
Looks like we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK JR.]
Guess you caught me, now the chase is done
You must admit I gave you quite the run
Mister Tortoise, here’s your rabbit stew
Looks like we're stuck together
Which is strange but true

[HANRATTY]
Tell Mister Ripley at “Believe It or Not”

[HANRATTY & FRANK JR.]
The show is over and he’s all that I got

[HANRATTY]
Hard to believe it but we’re tying the knot today

[FRANK JR.]
That’s okay
[HANRATTY, spoken]
Frank!

(sung)
Thank your public while you’re still in your prime
They won’t be seeing you for quite a long time
And after you’ve paid for your life of crime
Well, kid, we’ll see what good behavior can do

[HANRATTY & FRANK JR.]
‘Til then, we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK JR., spoken]
Mr. Hanratty turns out to be as good as his word

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison, but was released after seven for good behavior

[FRANK JR., spoken]
Carl and I became great friends, and he even became the godfather to my kids. I set up my own security company and paid back every bad check I ever passed

[HANRATTY spoken]
Alright, Frank, keep your promise. How did you cheat the bar exam?

[FRANK JR., spoken]
I didn't cheat. I studied!
[HANRATTY, spoken]
You're kidding me? I hate this guy, how does he do it?!

[FULL COMPANY]
Hey, Mister Lawyer, Mister Two-on-the-Aisle
You never can predict when fortune may smile

[HANRATTY]
In fact, I think I’m gonna break with tradition
And tell J. Edgar Hoover, "Baby I’ve gone fishin'!"

[FRANK JR., spoken]
You're gonna take the day off!

[HANRATTY, spoken]
You heard me!

[FRANK JR.]
If you had read this, you’d have said "No way!"
I almost made it look like crime does pay
There’s lots of folks that I miss every day

[FRANK JR. & HANRATTY]
But now a new duet has made its debut
And now we’re stuck together
[FULL COMPANY]
Oh, yeah!

[FRANK, JR. & HANRATTY]
In and out of luck together!

[FULL COMPANY]
Oh, yeah!

[FRANK, JR. & HANRATTY]
And now we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK JR.]
Your junior partner came through

[HANRATTY]
A simple case of monkey see, monkey do

[FRANK JR., spoken]
Oh, come on. Hey listen

(sung)
I’m glad to be on your team

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Frank

(sung)
Let’s make some butter out of cream

[FRANK JR., spoken]
That's really nice

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Alright, kid, let's get out of here