[Hook: Patrick Stump]
What is it we wanna doooo..
Now that I'm allowed to be in love with you?
Bir-thday girl, it's your birthday
Wherever you wanna go
Now you're old enough to go and see the "R"-rated show, now
"R"-rated show

[Verse 1: Black Thought]
Yo, she said she was a magazine editor named, Janine
Backstage in high-heels and painted-on, jeans
Probably had the most, devious eyes I'd ever seen
Told me she was twenty-two, she was only seventeen
She had sum'hin to hide she snuck in from out-side
And got, everybody gassed like the car I, drive
With all that grown-lady ass and my far-out, vibe
She said she came to see them Roots boys +Fall-Out+ live, but listen...

[Hook w/ ad-libs]

[Verse 2: Black Thought]
You see the girls look good, but they brains not ready
I talk to a woman, her mind is mo', steady
Probably sum'hin in the way they designed, that's mo' steady
I just let you inside cause the line so, heavy
But I shoulda know, better cause now I feel like America's
Underbelly R. Kelly gutter smut peddlers
Internet predators, chat-room irregulars
This not my twist, you tryna send me to the therapist, miss
[Hook w/ ad-libs]

[Verse 3: Black Thought]
Now, she told me cheddar cheese grits, two tomato fried fish
Cause she heard it's my dish, tryna be my sidekick
All the people all around thinkin she was my chick
Sayin, "Damn, the girl thick, but she ain't no twenty-six"
Lookin at me like I'm up to sum'him on the funny tip
Like I ever really been the one to try the honey drip
It's your birthday so let me know the gift you wanna get
In fact, blow out the candles on the cake and make a wish for me

[Bridge: Patrick Stump]
They can't really seem to look away
So they try, asking her to stay
Fake I.D., you won't get turned away!
You look, lovely toniiiight...
Now you're old enough to buy a gun
So many better ways of having fun
Right now I can only think of one...
You look lovely toniiiight...

[Hook w/ ad-libs and variations 'til end]