Take a piece of tinsel
And put it on the tree
Cut a slab of melon
And pretend that you still love me
Carve out a pumpkin
And rely on your destiny
Get in your car
And cruise the land of the brave and the free
But don't forget to understand
Exactly what you put on the tree
Don't believe the florist when he tells you
That the roses are free
Take a wrinkled raisin
And do with it what you will
Push it into third
If you know you're gonna climb a hill
Eat plenty of lasagna
'Til you know that you've had your fill
Resist all the urges
That make you wanna go out and kill
But don't forget to understand
Exactly what you put on the tree
Don't believe the florist when he tells you
That the roses are free