[Intro: 414 & still-life starlet]
My kitten shouldn't have to—
Get through the oyster—
World
World

[Interlude 1]
Ah, isn't it fucked?
You're in love, you're in love!
Oh, but what a shame
Things don't go your way
Ask your doctor to try Fuckall
Guaranteed to fix, well, something

[Interlude 2]
Introducing the brand-new Boy Kisser 3025
Felt inadequate any time in the past year?
Look no further than the BK3025
Perfect for first timers and bad luckers
You'll get whatever you want, whenever you want
Doesn't that sound great?
Your first payment is 19.99
And past that, it gets—

[Interlude 3]
Attention, this is a public service announcement
Have you or a loved one been played by a straight?
You may be entitled to financial compensation
This is a common issue that deserves to go on no longer
Call 1-800-STR8 to claim your free prize
That includes everything you could possibly need
To repair your emotional state
Don't delay, call today