[Intro]
This just in
We're receiving reports that a new fad is taking the nation by storm
Its name? Jorts
But it appears as if this breakthrough in jean-shorts splicing technology is causing irregular weather patterns all across the globe

[Verse 1]
Woo, it's the warmer season, so I can't wear jeans
I really like the denim, but not the length of the seam
My mom dresses cas' and my dad likes to preen
I'm not like either of them, I got the recessive gene

[Chorus]
Jort storm, jort storm's coming tonight
A jort storm, it's a category five
Jort storm, jort storm's coming tonight
I said, "A jort storm's coming, so run and hide"

[Bridge]
Jort-icane
Jort-nado
Jort-nami
Jort-quake
Jort-ruption
Jort-alanche
Jort-pocalypse
[Verse 2]
The jort storms coming (Jorts)
So you better start running fast, it's a chase
But be careful 'cause these jorts will chafe you (Yeah)
They're the new sensation (Jorts)
Wear 'em to every occasion, jorts in the pool
Or even better, wear them to a funeral, yeah (J-J-J-jorts)
My personality is ninety-nine percent jorts
I got a genetic test, but all my genes were shorts

[Chorus]
Jort storm, jort storm's coming tonight
A Jort storm, it's a category five
Jort storm, jort storm's coming tonight
I take off my fucking jorts, I got-a jorts inside

[Break]
Breaking news
Millions of Americans have been sucked directly into the "Jortex"
And it's heading straight for this studio
To my wife Cheryl, and son Timmy, I love you—

[Verse 3]
(Jorts) The elders foretold (Jorts) of a fashion so bold
A new God of the Earth (Jorthulu)
Seal it in denim and turned it into Jearth