[Verse 1]
I’m not afraid to grab the paintbrush when I see one
If I had to guesstimate I’d say my brain must weigh three tons
If your life sucks I’d suggest you demand a full refund
Or speak to the store manager
Modern yogis overdosed on zen pellets
I’ve got spam filters for emails from Ben Jealous
While you’re in the club surrounded by those ten jerks
I’m hijacking public broadcasting networks
Like V for Vendetta
But I’m no hairy wizard Alan Moore
I’m occupying the massage chair in the Discovery Channel store
I have ample while these damn fools demand more
Half man, half borg, tasked to rap more
Faster, better, and blacker
Who acts as your pastor
Benevolent master
My mind’s walls are a yellowing plaster
And I close my eyes to make them crack faster
(Yeah)

[Pre-Chorus]
The 24-bit eggplant will be analyzed
The dream I had yesterday and today:
The dense forest turns into a shopping district
The happy and mundane world will vent their anger
This is not my beautiful house
This is not my beautiful wife
How did I get here?

[Chorus]
If I knew ahead of time when Rob would die
I don’t think that I could tell him
And I might be a highlander
I might be an immortal
Because I haven’t died
And I’m paranoid that I’m an android with synthetic memories
What if these aren't my beliefs?
What if these aren't my beliefs?

[Verse 2]
I sat under the ceiling fan
And pondered the eternal
And then the infinite
And I thought of Chris McCandless trying to live in it
And I thought of people who get tattoos to prove that they too can last forever
Like these two imperfect hands could ever be capable of a grasp of the better
Like sticks of Imperial margarine
I built a mud hut on the margins
And then I marched in
With a whole code of ethics typed in Martian
On tattered parchment
Before departure on a battered starship
I used Harry Potter’s wand as a conductor’s baton when I choreographed the huddled mass of rapthink's groupthink
Ask about it
[Outro]
If I wrote the greatest rap song
I wouldn’t let you hear it
I wouldn’t let you hear it
I wouldn’t let you hear it

If I wrote the greatest rap song
I wouldn’t let you hear it
I wouldn’t let you hear it
I wouldn’t let you hear it

If I wrote the greatest rap song
I wouldn’t let you hear it

If I wrote the greatest rap song
I wouldn’t let you hear it

If this was the greatest rap song
You wouldn’t have heard it (what)
You wouldn’t have heard it (what)
You wouldn’t have heard it (what)