[Verse 1]

[LION]
Welcome to the Hat Shop
This magical place of whoa

[MARCH HARE]
We drink our tea and wear our hats

[MOUSE]
And switch chairs as we go

[TURTLE]
And when you’re next to Hatta

[LION]
It’s your turn to perform

[MARCH HARE]
So be brave and step right up
Don’t say that you weren’t warned

[Chorus 1]

[ENSEMBLE]
Welcome to Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery
[JEST]
Don’t be scared, go ahead and take a seat

[ENSEMBLE]
It’s Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery

[HATTA]
You’re here to entertain me

[Verse 2]

[HATTA]
Welcome Jest and Raven
And you our brand new guest
Come in and join our game
We’ll put you to the test
Just because you’re new here
Doesn’t mean you’re off the hook
Go on! Try to impress me
We’ll see just how you look

[Chorus 2]

[ENSEMBLE]
Because it’s Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery
[HATTA]
Perform your talent for all of us to see

[TURTLE, spoken]
A path of pain I hath tread
A lesson taught through the fire
Now Humility and patience be mine friends
For once I was a liar
Be mine Allies earned along the way
Now I hope that they shall stay

[ENSEMBLE]
Hattas Marvelous Millinery

[HATTA]
Next performer! Try not to disappoint me

[JEST, spoken]
Why is a raven like a writing desk? Blackout for split second

[HATTA, spoken]
The nerve of him to abandon you. And at my mercy, no less. Jest has always had a weakness for riddles
(after a beat)
You know, I’ve been working on a riddle myself lately. Would you like to hear it?
‘When pleased I beat like a drum. When sad, I break like glass. Once stolen, I can never be taken back. What am I?’
[CATH, spoken]
…A heart?

[HATTA, spoken]
Very acute, Lady Pinkerton!

[CATH, spoken]
Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say ‘Once given I can never be taken back’?

[HATTA, spoken]
That would imply that we give our hearts away willingly, and I’m not sure that is the case
(after a beat)
Hmm. Jest doesn’t usually disappear this long. Perhaps he was already tired of your company

[CATH, spoken]
“Why is a raven like a writing desk”...I think I’ve heard this riddle before...

[HATTA, spoken]
How does it end? I can’t quite remember

[CATH, spoken]
Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat!

[HATTA, spoken]
Raven!

[RAVEN]
*Loud squawk*

[JEST, spoken]
What are you all looking at?

[CATH, spoken]
That was terribly rude of you to abandon me so

[JEST, spoken]
I knew you’d figure it out

[HATTA, spoken]
Let’s not make a prodigy of the lady, all she did was recite a child’s lullaby. Everyone move down!
(beat)
Well this should be interesting

[JEST, spoken] Hatta!

[HATTA, spoken]
Pick a hat, any hat!
Ah, a hat for making unconventional decisions
What is this?

[CATH, spoken]
Well I have a talent for baking

[Bridge]

[CATH, sung]
I can’t dance or tell any tales
But baking is something I won’t fail
These macarons were made for the King
I hope that you like them-

[TURTLE]
They’re the best I’ve ever seen!

[HATTA, spoken]
Well done

[Chorus 3]

[ENSEMBLE]
Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery!

[JEST]
You showed them, that much is plain to see

[ENSEMBLE]
Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery!

[HATTA]
Congratulations! You’ve quite pleased me!

[ENSEMBLE]
Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery!

[HATTA]
Now a toast! Everyone raise your tea

[ENSEMBLE]
Hatta’s Marvelous Millinery!

[HATTA, spoken]
To Lady Pinkerton and her delectable confections!

[ENSEMBLE]
We’re all mad here at Hatta’s Marvelous How Millinery!