ENSEMBLE
No one would notice if anyone vanished
If students left the pack
For death or insignificance
With no sign of coming back
No one would notice if anyone vanished
The body undeterred
Enough resounding footsteps
That one fewer’s never heard
No one would notice if I ever vanished
A casualty of pride
But once you’ve lost it all
What happens on the other side?

What's on the other side of failure?
What happens aftеr the fall?
What kind of life is left to livе in
If you couldn't make the cut after all?
What's on the other side of failure?
What happens when you start to lose your grip?
Your whole life’s been balanced on a mountain of talents
Never knowing what awaits you when you slip

You stand at the edge
Ask "What happens down there?"
But no one has answers to show
You fight for the edge
You're so young, and so scared
You cling to the devil you know
But when you hit the ground
Peel yourself off the floor
You look up and see you survived
You stagger around
You start to explore
Your old friends pretend that you died

On the other side of failure
A breath of fresh air
Of knowing where you're going
You're the only one who cares
On the other side of failure
You remember to be kind
You start mending broken bridges
And escape from your own mind

BEATRIX
(spoken)
A year later, I was working at a local newspaper, pushing papers and fetching coffee. It's not the new york times, but the people in my section really care about what I write. And my name is always up front, on every word I pen - no longer a ghost writer
Besides, if I worked further away, I wouldn't be able to see my girlfriend on the weekends

PORTIA
(spoken)
I got kicked from the Ardess Daily staff. Apparently, publishing an unauthorized independent issue that condemns the administration is... What was the word? 'insubordination of the highest degree?'
(BEATRIX laughs)
So I started my own student newspaper! We can only print a handful at a time, and we don't have a real office yet, or a big fancy endowment- but we get to ask questions we're interested in. Interview protestors. Grill the administration. Write about things that’re actually important
BEATRIX
You hold on so tight
Think you might be content
Once you earn one more silly award
And maybe you might
With your energy spent
But you'll never see love as its own reward

PORTIA
You can fight for the prize
Be independent and tough
Stand out from the others, it's true

BEATRIX/PORTIA
But instead in your eyes
I can see I’m enough
I will always be so proud of you

On the other side of failure
A breath of fresh air
Of falling asleep on sun-dappled sheets
Knowing tomorrow you'll still be there
On the other side of failure
Is a place we’ll build for two
No haunted halls or archways
Just a room to share with you
ENSEMBLE
A word to the wise:
Sometimes the only true rest
Is looking beyond what you thought was success
A word to the wise:
When your chances are through
You can let go of their expectations of you
A word to the wise:
It’s not worth it to wait
For the next recognition to prove that you’re great
If you’ve died to forgive, or lived to forget
You can see those around you as more than a threat
A word to the wise:
There’s a whole life outside!

QUINCY
(spoken)
A year later- I took a gap year. After everything that happened. Never made it to graduation. I went to stay with my aunt and her wife. I help them run their bookshop. I transferred to another college, and I'm finishing up my degree there in the fall
(a pause)
I like it here. I read a lot. Write a little bit. Not papers, but stories, poems, observations. I'm not as good as vincent was. But maybe someday I will be
I found one of their journals, the other day, in the bottom of my suitcase from ardess? It still smells like them- like oranges and charcoal and just a bit like blood
(they begin to read)
Quincy Martin. Philosophy major. The first time they kissed me, they cupped my face in their hands. Gently, like I was something they thought could break. Like a nestling they peeled off the ground. I didn’t understand why
And then I discovered Quincy’s body and mine fit. We moved in together in a summer so hot it felt like we stuck, kissing until we could melt slowly into the others’ skin. Quincy makes breakfasts and I make dinners. I wake up earlier on tuesdays to pack them a lunch. We sleep with my head on his chest
And then I understood. If Quincy is warm and precious and fragile, I am all these things as well. We are the twin chambers of a minnow’s heart

QUINCY
(spoken)
The first time they kissed me, it was easy. Like unlocking a new part of my mind

QUINCY/VINCENT
(spoken)
Like they’d been there all along

QUINCY
I never got caught
Never felt enough pain
For the part of you I couldn’t be
(they offer vincent the symbol of self-harm the saints use earlier, probably a bandage)
So as penitents ought
I'll give wax, bone or vein
Whatever takes this guilt away from me!

(VINCENT hugs them)

QUINCY
On the other side of failure
A breath of fresh air

QUINCY/VINCENT
A life of new beginnings
That feels wrong without you there

QUINCY
On the other side of failure
It gets easier to see
QUINCY/VINCENT
Good and bad, guilt and forgiveness
You will always be a part of me

QUINCY
(taking vincent’s hands)
You will always be a part of--
VINCENT
I will always be so proud of you


ENSEMBLE
On the other side…
On the other side...
On the other side... (3x)