Chonny Jash
Compelled by Hindsight (2020 Demo)
All your smiles and painted laughter have finally stuck to form
Your wretched pleas to move on past her have left your heart well-worn
And though it beats for her no longer, the pulse keeps keeping on
The muscle tries to grow back stronger, but growth can't last for long
The pain, and regret, and lonely anguish, and all that had left you disheartened
You thought that these feelings had finally been vanquished but they merely changed their target

When did you decide those feelings had finally run their course?
Was what you felt a sense of healing or was there a dark horse?
Perhaps the marionette's just abject and what you seek's not friends
But just a puppet, just an object, sadistic means to ends

The one that you've chosen to be your victim is stuck in a state of pretending
So what makes you think that countless previous schisms is a pattern that you could be ending?

The rope's not voluntary, or one that you can show
A noose that's tied so scarcely merely acts to keep you on your toes

Everything you do is toxic, disguised by tinted dye
Whether or not you're deemed quixotic depends on how you lie
Pretend and fake, perfect the fiction and practice all your lines
Present your sins and derelictions, concealing all the signs
Your rationalization is flawed at best and your subject in heart is despondent
The quips you've pronounced that pretend to be in jest just serve to hide the true absence of content

The rope's not voluntary, or one that you can show
A noose that's tied so scarcely merely acts to keep you on your toes
But there's still time, to clear your mind so don't submit, and don't deny
You've missed your chance a thousand times, so just this once, don't pass it by
The yarn you spin's turned awfully thin, so drop the string, absolve your past time
Fuck the past, we're living in the meantime
The decent thrive, the guilty hide. So steel your nerve, and choose your side
You might be wrong, you might be right, but how'll you know if you don't try?
The sleepless nights your fear incites aren't half as bad as what the hush might bring
Can you take another dose of those feelings?