[Verse 1]
He doesn't have a problem with drugs
He just doesn't get them
He loves all of his mates' tattoos
But he thinks he'd regret them
He likes going to pubs
But he hates it when the music's too loud
He tends not to go to rock concerts
'Cause he can't stand the crowds
But all he's ever wanted to be
Is a rock star on MTV
But he knows that it's not fuckin' likely
This ain't the late '90s

[Chorus]
He knows that he will always be a rock and roll nerd
He'll keep writing songs thе world will never hear
And though thеy won't be heard, he'll just keep writing
Oh yeah

[Verse 2]
But you see, the problem is
He always dreamed that he would inspire
But he picked up a laptop instead of a Squier
And learning to press Play is not a great way to be admired
So while the other kids were learning Stairway
He was the Albini to their Cobain
But he was convinced one day he'd rock their fucking asses
And be an icon for the disenfranchised masses
And grow his hair long
And rebel against the state
But just for now, that'd have to wait
'Cause he's running late for his morning classes
[Chorus]
And he will always be a rock and roll nerd
He'll keep writing words the world will never read
And though they won't be seen, he'll just keep writing
Oh yeah

[Verse 3]
But you see, the problem is
There's not much depth in what he's singing
He's a victim of his lower-middle-class upbringing
So he can't write about the streets, or flexing
So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead
To try and evoke some angst in his middle-class head
But it's quite hard to bereave
When the one for which you grieve never even existed
He's not spent a single night in prison
He has no issues with nutrition
He has no drinking problem, and no drug addiction
Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken
And marijuana always tends to make him cough
He doesn't look good with his t-shirt off
And when he tries to act tough, you can tell he's tricking

Bup, ba da da da da da, get fucked cunt
Oh, while his mates will go out late, popping pills and getting pissed
He goes home and showers and gets a good eight hours
He gets his thrills from his morning lifts
While his mates will go on dates, taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam
He goes home and writes, spends all of his nights writing things the world will never see
'Cause he's never really been part of the scene
Give him Guns N' Roses, he'll take BDG
(If you got a song inside, don't hide it)
He's more into Tally than The Stones
(Do you like how I walk? Do you like how I talk?)
He's more Mr. Minchin than Ramones
(Don't lock it inside)
(I'm in a cage)
And he's never owned a transit van
He never shot a Pantera fan
He doesn't know the difference between Metal and Thrash
He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash

He likes Will Wood and That Handsome Devil
(One day you're going to die)
He knows all the words to Charlie's Inferno
(Excuse me sir)
And though he tries to be all edgy and deep
He spent his teenage years playing video games and losing sleep
So it don't matter how he tries
He cannot hide behind his rock and roll lies
'Cause you've either got it or you don't
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't

[Bridge]
Yeah, you've either got it or you don't
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't
Yeah, you've either got it or you don't
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't
Yeah, you've either got it or you don't
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't
Yeah, you've either got it or you don't
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't, motherfucker
Motherfucker, motherfucker
[Verse 4]
He knows that his music lacks depth
But it just can't be helped
He has nothing interesting to say
So he writes about himself
But he doesn't want to sound self-obsessed
So he writes in third-person
In an attempt to seem more rock-and-roll
But he suspects it's not working
And deep in his heart, he knows he
Will never be Bono or Bowie
And even if he was quite pretty
With small pants like Kylie

[Outro]
He knows that he will always be a rock and roll nerd
He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear
And though they won't be—
Though they won't be heard, he'll just keep writing
Oh yeah
No, you might not like him
But he don't care
Because he wants to rock and he will never be deterred
But he'll always be a fucked up, little, try-hard, wannabe
Rock and roll
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Nerd

[Instrumental Outro]