[Verse 1]
My mother left me at the age of three
She was actually a tree
From the IRS I flee
I won't pay my taxes, see

My dad left me for a goddamn flea
Forgot to clean up last year’s pee
I need a fucking therapist
Or just some coffee, can't resist

[Pre-Chorus]
(oh my god) That’s so insane
(holy shit) My house is in flames
Yesterday, I lost my rubber band
I kinda wish I had my rubber band
Jesus Christ! Where is my rubber band? (rubber band, hey!)

[Chorus]
Be careful, I am violent
The 'T’ in that is silent
I'm higher than the mother-fucking moon
(fuck you fuck you)
I turned my shit to smithereens
You deserve no goddamn sympathy
I put all of my piss in a balloon
[Verse 2]
My mom lеft me at the age of three
And shе turned right into a tree
Damn I got a small PP, IRS chasing after me
All my friends are manscaping
They're so good at manscaping
I'm so scared of cutting it
Is that really funny bitch

[Pre-Chorus]
(holy fuck) Leave me alone
(holy fuck) That’s Post Malone!
Next to him, I feel so damn alone
Oh damn, wait, he's really stoned
I wonder if he's got games on his phone

[Chorus]
The world’s smallest poop ever, really needs some salt and pepper
So if I cannot buy it somewhere soon
(the fuck, the fuck)
My ass will be in smithereens
I’ll get inside my submarine
And get as high as the fucking moon
(moon, moon, moon)

[Verse 3]
Somewhere in the Spider-verse
Somewhere I have got it worse
I struggle to make the next verse
Someone’s ass must really hurt
The worlds smallest peepee poo, really needs some whipped cream dude
So if I do not find it somewhere soon

My bumhole burns, I’m full of beans
I wonder what the hell he means
Despite attempts, I’m never clean
My ass feels like it's make believe
“the fuck” is what I’m wondering
No matter what, I can't achieve
I feel just like Lightning McQueen
The holy water’s what I need
This channel seems like hell to me
My eyes now need a bunch of bleach
Oh my god, so many bees
Bartender please, sex on the beach
So let me shitpost in this channel dude

[Outro] *spoken*
Fuck, my voice cracked