[Into: Nick]
Queef's back!
Tell another joke with the knee slap
I'm not snoozin' off with the decaf
Gotta buckle-up with the knee pads
And we're back on tour!
Open up for Panic! at the Disco
God Damn! Greasy pack of Crisco
Walk around, always saying sorry
Dev and Nick drivin' hills with the 'rari

[Chorus: Nick]
I think Tom Cruise might be my dad
I want goat cheese now in my hand
They told me that my breath fuckin' stinks!
Now I think I'm hangin' on the brink
I wanna skate, so just meet me by the rinkside
I ate ass every night, I got pinkeye
Itch-itch, baby hand me the ointment
I got another eat-ass appointment

[Bridge: Dev]
This is my impression of Panic! at the Disco *screaming*
This is my impression of Insane Clown Possе *screaming with circus music*
This is my impression of Marge Simpson (Homiе!)
This is my impression of your mum in my kitchen (Blow me!)
[Chorus: Nick]
I think Tom Cruise might be my dad
I want goat cheese now in my hand
They told me that my breath fuckin' stinks!
Now I think I'm hangin' on the brink
I wanna skate, so just meet me by the rinkside
I ate ass every night, I got pinkeye
Itch-itch, baby hand me the ointment
I got another eat-ass appointment

[Verse 1: Dev Lemons, Nick]
Hand me the toilet (Toilet!)
I just took a shit in your ointment, Nick (Na-na)
Oh god, I rubbed that shit on me (Ooh)
Now I got an infection army (Hey)
Call me a doctor (Doctor!)
Prescribe me some soylent, Nick! (Na-na)
Gotta get the shit out your ass
Like a six flags fast pass pass (Nick! Nick!)

[Verse 2: Dev Lemons, Nick]
Shitting in the van, shitting on the band (Woo!)
Talk about a shitty ass tour (Do-do-do-do)
Shitting in the van, shitting in the band (Da-da)
That shit got me down on all fours (Do-do-do-do-do-do)
Shitting everywhere except the can
Yeah, that's right, p-put it back in!
Put it back, talk shit, then I'm packin’
Dev and Nick take the wheel, co-captain (tain, tain)
[Chorus: Nick]
I think Tom Cruise might be my dad
I want goat cheese now in my hand
They told me that my breath fuckin' stinks!
Now I think think I'm hangin' on the brink
I wanna skate, so just meet me by the rinkside
I ate ass every night, I got pinkeye
Itch-itch, baby hand me the ointment
I got another eat-ass appointment