[Intro]
*baby fussing*
You are now listening to—
You are now listening to—
You are now listening to—
QUEEF JERKY

[Verse 1: Dev Lemons]
Yeah, copy-paste it
Yeah, belly button, can I taste it?
In my ball— ball— ball, samic (Yeah, yeah)
Dip my balls in your vomit
Only watch home-grown Simpsons stuff when I—
Only watch HDTV when I got no one to hold
Dan, you can't hurt me
Dan, you can't look at me
I take your mom to the lake
I take your mom to the lake
And then I take off her arms and legs at the lake (Yeah, lake)
Then I dump them in the ground (Yeah, lake)
And then she doesn't make a sound

[Verse 2: nickisnotgreen]
Ayy, ten feet deep in addition to the ground, yeah (Yeah!)
I made her snug, I ain't even heard a sound, yeah (Yeah!)
Andy pitchin' quick when he hits the mound (Yeah!)
It's so loud, it's profound, always sneakin' in the crowd, shit!
[Verse 3: andy king, nickisnotgreen & Both]
Have you ever seen a cat hunt a mouse?
And he's gettin' really happy as he runs around the house
I could play the same game in your bed with your spouse
'Cause when I'm rockin' QUEEF JERKY I get perky and I pounce
Yeah, I'ma chop your balls and I'll nail 'em to the wall, centerpiece
Now you're cryin', I can hear you down the hall on your knees
Yeah, I'ma chop your balls and I'll nail 'em to the wall, centerpiece
Now you're cryin', I can hear you down the hall on your knees (Ha!)

[Verse 4: nickisnotgreen]
Nicky and D come to the scene when I'm shittin' on the beat (Ha!)
Beatin' the meat, spittin' the seed, when I tell you I'm a freak
Would you say that if I kissed you on the face, man?
Would you say that if I bought you some new Ray-Bans?
They voted me most generous in the city
I wish I saw Ellen DeGeneres, so pretty
I wish the GAP finally sold pants that would fit me
I say, "goo-goo ga-ga", baby girl, why don't you sit me?

[Verse 5: hivemind riley, DIGNAN, Dev Lemons & nickisnotgreen]
Dev just pulled up with the chicken noodle popsicle (Yeah)
Whole lot in my cup, yeah, this smoothie is tropical
I took the Wock to Narnia, now I'm smokin' chronicle
(Let's go, Riley!) They root for me like follicle
Imagine Dragons, J.R.R. Tolkien, Imagine Baggins (He did)
Got a huge ass, yeah, I'm draggin' wagon (Big ass)
I just bought the cave that Bin Laden sat in (Goddamn!)
Lord of the Rings, I'm a hoarder of things (Yeah)
I'm gettin' kinda hungry, I might order some wings
I just saw your mom and I told her some things (Yeah)
Next time I saw her, I sold her some things
God damn it, told you Diggy only plays in prime time
R.I.P. Regis, yeah, I think I need a lifeline
Can't respect the law 'cause you know I think that crime's fine
Justin Long, will you please be a guest on HIVEMIND?
[Bridge: sauvignon]
Uh, yeah, gotta blow a load
Grab a tissue from the box, yeah, I might explode
Hot, hot, hot, hot, on a roll
Who shit the bed? I don't know
Uh, yeah, gotta blow a load
Grab a tissue from the box, yeah, I might explode
Hot, hot, hot, hot, on a roll
Who shit the bed? I don't know

[Verse 6: sauvignon]
Yeah, I shit the bed, but I was just playin' though (Facts)
It's just a joke, why you actin' like it's so gross? (Ew)
You probably sittin' on the toilet on your fuckin' phone (Ha-ha-ha-ha)
I innovate, I poop while drivin' on the fuckin' road (That's true)
I'll make it stanky, make it hot like a pizza roll (Nasty)
And when it comes to my shit, I'm the general (Salute)
And your mom, she says she like it, I can't stop it, bro
She a freak for this shit, ain't no pun intended (Ayo, w-was that too far?)
Yeah, it's nasty
But I bet you'd rather that than have her call me daddy (Daddy)
This your mom we talkin' about, perhaps her name is Nancy or Francine
And maybe she likes dancin'
At night, when the sun down, I'ma score a touchdown
She gon' call me over like a waiter when the table needs a bust down
Now I gotta slow down
I really like your mom, but she queefs when I come 'round
It's a real condition, you can WebMD it
They got a lot of photos if you wanna see it (For real?)
And if you take a picture, doctors will ID it (For real?)
Queef confirmed, tables turned
Lessons learned, I guarantee it (Oh!)
[Verse 7: nickisnotgreen & sauvignon]
Yo, I got problems too
Bingin' TiVO with the women who I'm talkin' to
I got handouts for men who got a Glock or two
You got the print on your pants just like a cock, I knew
You got a fade just like a motherfuckin' cockatoo (Oh-ho-ho-ho!)
Bitch!
(QUEEF confirmed!)

[Verse 8: Gabi Belle]
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round (Skrrt)
Gravy's mom in my sheets goin' round for round
Patty cake, Patty's cake, clappin' around
When her husband's not home she gets dicked down
(Waah!) That's the sound of Mario (Urgh)
Chris Pratt is Mario
Nick smacked Andy's back, give a dog a bone (Waah!)
Stuff you wouldn't expect (No, I wouldn't)
Dream's face reveal on Nintendo Direct
Wait, gotta check
Drake Bell not invited to wedding of Josh Peck

[Verse 9: TRDNG]
QUEEF's back in it, I'm the motherfuckin' side piece
Shittin' and pissin' and cummin', don't fuckin' remind me
Eat some shit for breakfast, yeah, she know she got that ass ate
Waitin' for Nick at Nite, bitch, I stay up late
Got a bad bitch triangle boobies, she look like Lara Croft
Ghosts, ghouls and goblins are some things that I'm scared of
Nick's got the queefs and Andy's got the cheddar
If you say you'll do it better you get hit with a Beretta, man
Mask off, coughin' on a bitch like I'm Dream
Go eat shots out her ass, he in me
Piss is stored in the balls, not the peen
Goin' to Chipotle and you'd better hold the beans

[Verse 10: nickisnotgreen & Joe Biden]
Yar!
Would you even fuck with a lisp? (Ba-ba-ba-bow)
Would you even fuck on a witch? (A-ha-ha-ha)
Can you say you'll kill Joe Biden? (Soda!)
Oughta put your name on the list (Nah)
Oughta slap a freak with some freckles (Freckles)
Bitch, I'm playin' chess, you are checkers
Everyday you think about my pecker (Gah)
I could punch a kid for a week, uh
I would punch my kid for a steed (Huh!)
Got a horse with a mane, I'm a freak (Huh!)
I sell out for the fame, I'm a freak (Huh!)
Throwin' pizza crust out, I'm a freak (Uh!)
I would punch my kid for a steed (Huh!)
Got a horse with a mane, I'm a freak (Huh!)
I sell out for the fame, I'm a freak (Huh!)
Throwin' pizza crust out, I'm a freak (Uh!)

[Interlude: ZAQQ]
Yo! So this ProdbyZAQQ, bro
This song goes out to any of the motherfucker out there
Who's ever been up in the sheets with his girl
And she don't queef all up on your beef
Call that a... QUEEF JERKY

[Verse 11: ZAQQ]
I remember havin' beef with my shawty (Yeah)
But she don't jerk me, she passed me herpes
I wish my girl would not queef all upon me
So now I'ma have to call that QUEEF JERKY
Yeah, I think I don't drop my beat for the table
Six months later, look what the fuck is lurkin'
Jesus Christ, what the— what the fuck is that?
That's my QUEEF JERKY, bruh, don't— lea— don't wanna do that
Everytime I go to fuck my bitch
She gotta lunch with it
Matter of fact, Ice spice that queef on me
I tried, but she done queefed up in my coffee
But fuck it, bitch, I'ma still take a sip (What the fuck?)
You know I can't spit fast, I'm spittin' this shit slow
Chillin' out here with Nick, if you cringe, then you smoke
Got that Glock on my hip, ain't no need to reload
When I pull out my QUEEF JERKY say that I— oh, no

[Outro: hivemind riley]
Lord of the Rings, I'm a hoarder of things
I'm gettin' kinda hungry, I might order some wings
I just saw your mom and I told her some things
Next time I saw her, I sold her some things
Lord of the Rings, I'm a hoarder of things
I'm gettin' kinda hungry, I might order some wings
I just saw your mom and I told her some things
Next time I saw her, I sold her some things