[PHIL]
So, you wanna be a hero, kid?
Well, whoop-de-do
I have been around the block before
With blockheads just like you
Each and every one, a disappointment
Pain for which there ain't no ointment
So much for excuses, though a kid of Zeus is
Askin' me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words

(spoken)
...Okay
You win
Oh, gods
Oy vey

(sung)
I'd given up hope that someone would come along
A fellow who'd ring the bell for once, not the gong
The kind who wins trophies
Won't settle for low fees
At least semipro fees
But no, I get the greenhorn

I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone
Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn
But you need an advisor
A satyr, but wiser
A good merchandiser and—whoa!
There goes my ulcer!
I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you
Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true
I trained enough turkeys who never came through
You're my one last hope, so you'll have to do

Demigods have faced the odds
And ended up a mockery
Don't believe the stories that
You read on all the crockery

To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art
Like paintin' a masterpiece, it's a work of heart
It takes more than sinew
Comes down to what's in you
You have to continue to grow

(spoken)
Now that's more like it!

(sung)
I'm down to one last shot and my last high note
Before that blasted Underworld gets my goat
My dreams are on you, kid
Go make 'em come true
Climb that uphill slope
Keep pushin' that envelope
You're my one last hope
And kid, it's up to you
(spoken)
Yeah!