[Verse 1: Toasters]
It's undeniable, a natural fact
Kick up your heels, T&M are back
We've returned to tell you our story
Living large off Internet glory
The epitome of wealth
Homeless? Check yourself
We got blankets we don't even use
Shirts, pants, socks, and shoes

[Chorus 1: Moose]
I don't know why you think that I look like a hobo
I don't think I do
'Cause you know I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless
If you try to give me some food and I yell at you
It's not 'cause I'm rude
It's because I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless

[Verse 2: Toasters]
When I wanna sit, I sit in a chair
I don't have to sit just any old where
I can be on the porch and I drink champagne
Don't need no cardboard when it rains
I got a telephone and a stereo
I got a TV set and they all work, you know
They're not in a cart, they're in my car
I bought them at Best Buy 'cause I'm a star
[Chorus 2: Moose]
I don't know why you think that I look like a hobo
I don't think I do
'Cause you know I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless
If you think that I sleep in cans, well I, I don't do that
I sleep in a bed
'Cause you know I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless, girl

[Verse 3: Toasters]
Get a job, don't lay in the street
Make some money, it can't be beat
Put down the sign, give it a rest
Taste the biscuit 'cause it's the best
I have sex every night
And if I don't, that's alright
I'm not homeless, I got a home
I'm not homeless, leave me alone!

[Chorus 2: Moose]
I don't know why you think that I look like a hobo
I don't think I do
'Cause you know I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless
If you think that I sleep in cans, well I, I don't do that
I sleep in a bed
'Cause you know I'm not homeless
You know I'm not homeless, girl