Nobody, nobody wants your homemade pornography Ralph
Because it’s weird and it’s just you
And it has lousy production values
Ralph, you could do so much better

Go out and find a lady of the night
And you can hold the light while she does all the actions
And the reactions
And then you just might make some money off naked ladies
That’s right, there’s money to made off naked ladies

'Cause nobody, nobody wants your homemade pornography Ralph
Because it’s weird and it’s just you
And it has poor production values
Ralph, you could do so much better

'Cause nobody, nobody wants your homemade pornography Ralph
Because it’s weird and it’s just you
And frankly, I find it rather rude
Yes I do