[Verse: Markiplier, Michael Gregory, Markiplier & Michael Gregory]
The outside world recoils in fear
Thinking if they slip up they'll get locked up in here
You're killing yourself just to make ends meet
While I'm workin' on my tan, and kickin' up my feet
You can't beat livin' in prison, there's always something to do
And ya know who's paying? Everyone but you
Every day I wake up to a nice hot shower
Don't pay the water bill, so I'm scrubbin' for hours
Shoot some hoops, and lift weights in the yard
Maybe blow off some steam, shiv a rookie guard
And there's nothing more exquisite
Than when I get my fourteen-minute conjugal visit! (Come on and meet the gang!)
There's Jimmy the Pickle, and Shithole Hank
He makes the best hooch wine in his toilet tank
There's Bam-Bam, and Tiny, and Sparkles McGee
And every single one of us scumbags agree

[Chorus: Markiplier with Michael Gregory]
I don't wanna be free (I don't wanna be free)
Leave me in luxury (Leave me in luxury)
Why try a prison break
When hard time's totally great?
I got a trash pedigree (I got a trash pedigree)
But in here I'm bourgeoisie (Hey Ma, look at me)
I never think about the world beyond
The night recalling I killed my mom
[Bridge: Markiplier]
No! I don't wanna be
Free! Not the life for me
No! I don't wanna be

[Chorus: Markiplier]
Free
Of these amenities
If I tried to live this good out there
I'd have to be a thousandaire
This is where I wanna grow old
So I'm just prayin' I don't make parole
'Cause I don't wanna be free!