[Lady Bunny]
You can tell by our style we've been 'round quite a while
King Tut was the first guy to hire us
Just two dusty old hacks, we are both artifacts
Girl, I sent my first n*** on papyrus

[Jackie Beat]
We know all of the tricks, wrote them in hieroglyphs
I invented that so don't make me sue ya
May be older than dirt with cobwebs under our skirt
In any century you know we'll outdo ya

[Chorus: Both]
Everybody loves their mummy
You know mama knows best
You better say you love your mummy
'Cuz you can't kill what's dead
Who's your mummy, who's your mummy
Screw your daddy, who's your mummy

[Jackie]
Say I'm your mummy

[Bunny]
No, I'm your mummy
[Jackie]
Screw you, Bunny

[Bunny]
No thanks, honey!

[Bunny]
We've been best friеnds, you see, since like 30BC
Except briеfly when that guy came between us
Now our golden rule goes simply bros before hoes
Or in other words, pals before penis

[Jackie]
What you may not know is I almost gave up showbiz
From that same conman's real estate dream
But he was stealing from me 'cuz it turned out to be

[Both]
The first ever pyramid scheme!

[Chorus: Both]
Everybody loves their mummy
You know mama knows best
You better say you love your mummy
'Cuz you can't kill what's dead
Who's your mummy, who's your mummy
Screw your daddy, who's your mummy
[Jackie]
Say I'm your mummy

[Bunny]
No, I'm your mummy

[Both]
Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy?
I'm your mummy! I'm your mummy!
You claim to be my mummy but you look more like my daddy

[Bunny]
We're just a couple of old farts

[Jackie]
See, we even toot-in-common!

[Bunny]
Once a gal counts three chins then the surgery begins
But each nip and tuck is well deserved
We're like quality ham or a prizewinning jam
In the fact that we're so well preserved!

[Jackie]
We've been stapled and snapped but onc e we're unwrapped
You may fail to recognise us
When you see our new face and it comes time to praise
[Both]
Don't Cleopatronize us!

[Chorus: Both]
Everybody loves their mummy
You know mama knows best
Better say you love your mummy
Or we might get undressed
Who's your mummy, who's your mummy
I'm your sister and your mummy!

[Jackie]
Say I'm your mummy

[Bunny]
No, I'm your mummy

[Both]
Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy?
I'm your mummy! I'm your mummy!

[Bunny]
Damn, you're getting flabby

[Jackie]
Girl, your makeup's looking crummy

[Jackie]
You've all heard of King Tut? Well, say hello to Queen Slut

[Bunny]
You've all heard of Nefertiti? Well, please welcome to the stage Heifer-titi

[Jackie]
Hilarious, especially coming from Nefer-funny

[Bunny]
You're so old that you swam in the dead sea when it was still getting sick

[Jackie]
You put the mess in Mesepotamia

[Bunny]
You put the not funny in this show

[Jackie]
Kiss my ass

[Bunny]
Listen, this number may be long and boring and feature dusty old jokes but it does have one thing going for it

[Jackie]
Yeah, it doesn't feature Ginger or Monet!