October will brush past my shoulders within the blink of an eye
thankfully
i have been dead for years now, or so it seems
i’m an echo
i am lost within the wind
nobody sees me anymore
if i was of physical mass, there would be dust on my shoulders
it would collect in my knotted hair that i have long forgotten to brush
all of my oldest lost friends now have grown but i am fixed at the same age
if i was a winter forest, i would settle for evergreen

i have too many endeavours
and my mind is scattered
my love is unhealthy
she works in ways which are unknown to me
i try bury all my hatred beneath me
beneath my feet
but its pushing up daisies
i know better now
it’s colder inside than outside of this home
two years ago, this October, i died
and nobody came to the funeral
i wasn’t given a proper burial
and now parts of me are still resentful
i am a girl painted deep blue
my body is a maze and my mind is lost in it
if you could turn back time to two years ago, would you un-say it?
i want to know if you regret it
because to me it doesn’t look like you do
i want to see some humanity
i fell of the edge and no one missed me
i need to know what possessed you to cut me that deep
i hate you and i have the feeling you still know too
i resent the fact i was grown and didn’t give you hell,
but im getting ahead of myself
why was it unprovoked?
october will brush past my shoulders within the blink of an eye
luckily
where did i go wrong? what has become of me?
why did no one help me, protect me, defend me?
so unjustified
i know you lay awake at night, haunted by my agonised cries
i know they antagonise you
may October be rough,
may it be cruel
may it bring out the worst,
till you die
just like mine
i’m sorry but i’m tired of being polite