I'm a friend of Mr. Pastry
I'm a friend of Allen Jones
I'm a friend of Shirley Bassey
I'm a friend of your chromosomes

I'm a friend of Stuart Sutcliffe
I'm a friend of Michael Miles
I'm a friend of Jim Morrison
I'm a friend of Nobby Stiles

I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
I'm a friend of a friend but you don't know me
I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
And if I come on the night, can I get in free?

I'm a friend of Egon Schiele
I'm a friend of Mr. Spock
I'm a friend of Doctor Kildare
I'm a friend of The Woodentops

I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
I'm a friend of a friend but you don't know

I'm a friend of Charles Hawtrey
I'm a friend of Michael Caine
I'm a friend of Stanley Spencer
I'm a friend of Big John Wayne
I'm a friend of Brian Inglis
I'm a friend of your dad's son
I'm a friend of Boris Karloff
I'm a friend of everyone

I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
I'm a friend of a friend but you don't know me
I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
And if I come on the night, can I get in free?