I've got a Pizzaland complexion
Bright green socks
I am the happy little face
On the charity box
But you don't look in my direction
You always look away
You thank the Lord God above
You were not modelled my way

And then I woke up
Right in the middle of a horrible dream
Yes, I woke up
I dreamt I was a spastic but my boots were clean

You are a solid instigator
Of the human code
You held back the traffic
While I crossed the road
But please don't try and be a martyr
The good Samaritan play
Because my silly Cuban heels
Will give your games away

And then I woke up
Right in the middle of a horrible dream
Yes, I woke up
I dreamt I was a spastic but my boots were clean
I woke up
I woke up
Pray for me (x4)

Then I woke up
Right in the middle of a...
I woke up
I woke up

Have you ever had a ride in a light blue car?
Have you ever stopped to think who's the slave and who's the master?
Have you ever had trouble with your automobile?
Have you ever had to push, push, push, push?
Car trouble

You might have seen them very busy at the weekend (oh, oh)
Licking and polishing the beep-beeps into shape
And then it's proudly up the M1, M2, M3
And keep your feet off the upholstery, Ronnie
Car trouble, oh yeah

And remember this:
You don't need anything after an ice cream

I used to sit at home silently and wonder
Why all the preference is polishing the chrome
While all the mothers and the sisters and their babies
Sit and rot at home
Car trouble, oh yeah
And remember this:
You don't need anything after an ice cream

Car, car, car trouble (x12)