[ALL]
We're the cousins
Who ruled over dozens

[KING GEORGE V]
King George

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
Tsar Nick

[KAISER WILHELM II]
Kaiser Billy

[ALL]
When the century started
We could hardly be parted
But that was all before
The frightful First World War

[KING GEORGE V]
I'm King George
And when young I forged
An alliance with these two
Through Queen Vic we were related
Check out the world power she created
[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
I'm Tsar Nicholas
With George mischievous
Swapped uniforms at posh do's
We looked like twins, had matching beards
Right royal family, if a little weird

[KING GEORGE V]
Drove advisors round the bend

[GEORGE V & NICHOLAS II]
Till all that friendship had to end

[ALL]
We're relations
Crowned by our nations

[KING GEORGE V]
Great Britain

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
Russia

[KAISER WILHELM II]
and Germany
[ALL]
When our governments fell out
Peaceful relations put in doubt
Conditions perfect for
The frightful First World War

[KAISER WILHELM II]
I'm Kaiser Wilhelm
I kind of felt a bit
Left out by the rest
They had beards, I only had a moustache
Feared my withered arm gave me less panache
I loved the military
Thought at diplomacy
I would be the best

[GEORGE V & NICHOLAS II]
We sent telegrams, hoped to stop the bombs
But they weren't worth the paper they were written on

[KAISER WILHELM II]
I called England mad March hares

[KING GEORGE V]
You didn't help avert war there
[ALL]
Now all leaders
That all succeed us

[KING GEORGE V]
Great Britain

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
Russia

[KAISER WILHELM II]
Both against me
I was in charge of German troops

[GEORGE V & NICHOLAS II]
But you proved to be hopeless, oops

[KAISER WILHELM II]
The commanders they ignored
In the frightful First World War

[KING GEORGE V]
My family ties embarrassing, our kinship now a hassle
I changed my German surname to Windsor like the castle
Then Russian Revolution came
Nick said

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
"Help me, mate!"

[KING GEORGE V]
I couldn't support him
Had to leave him to his fate

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
Execution!
Oh

[ALL]
And then the war was no more

[KING GEORGE V]
We won!

[KAISER WILHELM II]
We lost

[TSAR NICHOLAS II]
Call it a score draw

[KING GEORGE V]
I was the only one left in charge

[KAISER WILHELM II]
I ran away but still at large

[ALL]
And all this frightful war could do
Was set up World War Two

[GEORGE V & NICHOLAS II]
Which was us against you

[ALL]
Boo boo be doo!