[Victoria (Hadland)]
I love to be a British queen
I am Victoria, you see
Now where's my British butler
With my British cup of tea?

[Butler (Baynton)]
Tea is not from Britain, ma'am
From India it was brought
Yes, for your cuppa, thousands died
And many wars were fought

[Victoria]
British things, my British things
It seems that tea is not
British things, my British things

[Butler]
Can I sweeten it a jot?

[Victoria]
Do tell me sugar's British though

[Butler]
No, it's Caribbean imported
For sugar in your cup of tea
Slavery's been supported
I know it's wrong, your majesty
But slaves in Africa
Worked hard in fields of sugar cane
To sweeten up your char
[Victoria]
British things

[Both]
Our British things

[Victoria]
I thought that there were many

[Both]
British things, our British things

[Butler]
Afraid there's hardly any

[Butler]
You know your British cotton vest

[Victoria]
What's wrong with it, explain

[Butler]
The cotton's from America
And picked by...

[Victoria]
Slaves again
[Butler]
Your empire's built on fighting wars
That's how your income's swollen
Your British things are from abroad
And most are frankly stolen

[Victoria]
Whatever next? Go on, pray tell

[Butler]
Our British queen is foreign as well

[Victoria]
It's true, I am of foreign descent

[Butler]
And your husband, Albert?

[Victoria]
A German gent
At least I've got a British name

[Butler]
Victoria's Latin

[Victoria]
That's a shame
[Both]
British things, British things

[Victoria]
There are none, we declare

[Butler]
All our favourite British things

[Both]
Seem to come from elsewhere