[Intro]
"Three, two... fire!"

[Verse 1]
So you thought you might like to go to the show
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow
I've got some bad news for you sunshine
Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel
And they sent us along as a surrogate band
We're gonna find out where you fans really stand

[Verse 2]
Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
Get them up against the wall
(Against the wall)
Now there's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me
Get him up against the wall
(Against the—)
And that one looks Jewish and that one's a coon!
Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint and another with spots
If I had my way, I'd have all of you shot!

[Instrumental Outro]

[Segue: Crowd Chanting]
Pink Floyd! Pink Floyd!
Pink Floyd! Pink Floyd!
Pink Floyd! Pink Floyd!