[Intro]
*Pig snorts*

[Verse 1]
Big man, pig man, haha, charade you are, wooh!
You well-heeled big wheel, haha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin saying, “Keep on digging”
Pig stain on your fat chin, what do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?

[Refrain]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

[Verse 2]
Bus stop rat bag, haha, charade you are
You fucked up old hag, haha, charade you are
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass
You're nearly a good laugh almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel you're hot stuff with a hatpin
And good fun with a handgun

[Refrain]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry
[Instrumental Break: 3:58 - 8:08]

[Verse 3]
Hey you, Whitehouse, haha, charade you are
You house-proud town mouse, haha, charade you are
You're trying to keep our feelings off the street
You're nearly a real treat, all tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused? …! …! …! …! …! …! …! you!
Gotta stem the evil tide and keep it all on the inside

[Refrain]
Mary, you're nearly a treat
Mary, you're nearly a treat, but you're really a cry

[Instrumental Outro]
[Guitar Solo]