[Intro]
*pig snorting*

[Verse 1]
Big man, pig man, haha, charade, you are, woo!
You well-heeled big wheel, haha, charade, you are
And when your hand is on your heart

[Pre-Chorus]
You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin, saying, "Keep on digging"
Pig stain on your fat chin, what do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?

[Chorus]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry
(Animals)

[Verse 2]
Bus stop rat bag, haha, charade, you are
You fucked up, old hag, haha, charade, you are
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass

[Pre-Chorus]
You're nearly a good laugh, almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel, you're hot stuff with a hatpin
And good fun with a handgun
[Chorus]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

[Instrumental Break]
*pig snorting*

[Verse 3]
Hey you, Whitehouse, haha, charade, you are
You house-proud town mouse, haha, charade you are
You're trying to keep our feelings off the street

[Pre-Chorus]
You're nearly a real treat, all tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, you!
Gotta stem the evil tide and keep it all on the inside

[Chorus]
Mary, you're nearly a treat
Mary, you're nearly a treat, but you're really a cry

[Guitar Solo]