(Verse 1)
[CLINT]
Now, fellow, here you are
In a shitty British bar
With a frothy little frown upon your lips
Another pint for me friend
Extra warm!

[PRESENT]
Your accent blows

[CLINT]
Well, I beg to differ
As you're drownin' in that ale, you're
Feelin' like a failure
Sorrier than soggy fish and chips
But you don't have to sit and pout
Just let your inner Scrooge come out
'Cause why should any other jerk enjoy his day?
When you're down in the dumps and need some cheerin' upsies
Turn and tap
A 'apless chap
And sweetly say:

(Chorus)
Good afternoon! Good afternoon!
[BARMAID]
Well, I never!

[CLINT]
Just let one fly
And you'll be smi-
Lin' pretty soon
Like this: Good afternoon!

[CUSTOMER]
I beg your pardon!

[CLINT]
You pompous ass

[BARMAID]
It's like "Piss off!" but with a little touch of class

[CLINT AND BARMAID]
Oh, two little words can totally change a tune

[CLINT]
Good afternoon!

[CUSTOMER]
Good afternoon!
[BARMAID]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
I'm sensing "No"

(Verse 2)
[CLINT]
So you've done nothing wrong
In so very, very long
And I get it's an important point of pride

[PRESENT]
It's part of my job

[CLINT]
But come on, now don't stay quiet
You know you wanna try it
Better to never let all of the bitter be bottled up inside

[CARRIAGE DRIVER]
Oi! Out of the road, dingus!

[CLINT]
Oh, come on, bub. He's got it coming. You know you want to. Come on! Come on! It's right there. Just let it...
(Chorus)
[PRESENT]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
Yes!

[PRESENT]
Good afternoon!

[CARRIAGE DRIVER]
The hell you say!

[CLINT]
So you're a wankerous, cantankerous buffoon

[POLICEMAN]
What's all this, then?

[PRESENT]
Good afternoon!
You smell of shite

[CLINT]
Now we didn't say "Good morning" or "Good night"

[PRESENT]
That's right!

[POLICEMAN]
Get back here!

[CLINT AND PRESENT]
Yes, two little words can totally change a tune

[CLINT]
Good afternoon

[PRESENT]
Good afternoon

[LITTLE GIRL]
Good afternoon!

(Bridge)
[PRESENT]
She clogged the loo

[WOMAN]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
He diddled your wife

[GENTLEMAN]
Good afternoon!

[MAN]
It meant not a thing, I swear upon my life

[WOMAN]
Good afternoon!

[PRESENT]
He has the plague

[WOMAN]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
She called you a whore

[WOMAN]
Good afternoon!

[OLIVER TWIST]
I'm an orphan. Please, sir, may I have some more?

[CLINT AND PRESENT]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
Hello, guv'nor!

[GENTLEMAN]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT]
Pardon his French!

[GENTLEMAN]
Good afternoon!

[CLINT AND PRESENT]
Just deplore 'em
With decorum
Like you're Judi bloody Dench

[CLINT]
Wait, wait, was that Judi Dench?

[PRESENT]
Oh my God, she's a national treasure. I love her in everything

[CLINT]
I loved her in that, that chocolate

[PRESENT]
Chocolat

[CLINT]
Chocolat!

[ALL]
While we're stumbling through the streets of London town
The quickest little pick-me-up is kicking people down

(Instrumental break)

[ALL]
Good afternoon! It's tons of fun

[PRESENT]
And if you're short, then you can kiss my Dickens, son!

[CLINT]
Woah, woah! No, no, no, no! Stop!

[PRESENT]
No, it's Charles Dickens! It's a funny little thing

[CLINT]
Yes, thank you, but there is a baby

[PRESENT]
Oh, there's a baby! Madam, I am so sorry!

[CLINT]
He should be/ And ma'am

[CLINT AND PRESENT]
Good afternoon!

[ALL]
Good afternoon!
Our favorite swear
Just let a little vile fill the village square

[CLINT]
A pin to pop some prick's balloon

[PRESENT]
And nobody is immune

[ALL]
For giving a man
A kick in the pantaloon
Oh, two little words can totally change a tune
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon
Good afternoon