Crane, Crane, you're goin' insane
You can't have sex with everyone
You see it's just not right

Clink, clink, what did you think?
You're driving to the airport
In a rented car with gloves

Syndication never hurt so bad
It's always pleasant at the mall
Your mutilation really made me sad
You're still a hero to us all

Crane, Crane, what's in your brain?
Maps of tunnels underground
Where Nazi vampires sleep

Clink, clink, right by the sink
While the junior high-school girls
Fight for remote control

Syndication never hurt so bad
It's always pleasant at the mall
Your mutilation really made me sad
You're still a hero to us all