I've seen the light and it's a Wal-Mart
Setting fires in our stupid hearts
T-Minus one month is a late start
We'll spend the year in preparation
What do we celebrate if a holiday lasts three months?
And will there come a time when we stop having seasons
And it's just you and me in a store
Exchanging fucking cards?

The house is on fire
We left the lights on way too long
One dull flame burns perpetually
And we watch it blaze unexcited
'cause we know nothing else
Lest we not participate in Presidents' Day promotions
And if we subsist on the absence of gifts then
Resistance is now a selfish emotion
Better sing those P-Day carols on and on and on and on...

You and me on a couch
Watching Oprah
Clipping coupons