[Chains]
On the first day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
This broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill

[Hoxton]
On the second day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Two years in jail

[Chains]
And a broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill

[Twitch]
On the third day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
AAAA-- THREE TIRES SHOT!

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
And a broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill

[Wolf]
On the fourth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Four panicked robbers
[Twitch]
Three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
And a broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill (which I hate)

[Dallas]
On the fifth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Five bullets left

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
Three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
I hate this broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill
[Bulldozer]
On the sixth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five bullets left

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
C'mon, three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
Fuck this broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill!

[Tazer]
On the seventh day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging
[Dallas]
Five bullets left (Ammo bag!)

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
Fuck, three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
A-And this broke-shit... piece-of-shit drill! (For serious!)

[SWAT]
On the eighth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Eight SWATs repellin'

[Tazer]
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five bullets left (Ammo! Ammo!)

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
Three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two fuckin' years in jail

[Chains]
Fuck this broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill! (Where'd you get this fuckin' thing?)

[Hostage Rescue Team]
On the ninth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Nine hostages fleein'

[SWAT]
Eight SWATs repellin'

[Tazer]
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five bullets left (Ammo bag! Ammo bag!)

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
Three tires shot

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
I can't even fuck with this broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill! (I mean seriously!)

[Bain]
On the tenth day of Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Ten seconds response time

[Hostage Rescue Team]
Nine hostages fleein'

[SWAT]
Eight SWATs repellin'

[Tazer]
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five... bullets left

[Wolf]
FOUR PANICKED ROBBERS!!

[Twitch]
[screaming]

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail

[Chains]
You know what? Fuck this, fuck this drill, fuck you, fuck this song!

[Clover]
On the eleventh day of Christmas
Payday gave to-
FUCK!
Eleven doors to lock-pick?!

[Bain]
Ten seconds response time

[Hostage Rescue Team]
Nine hostages fleein'

[SWAT]
Eight SWATs repellin'

[Tazer]
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five bullets left (Ammo! Ammo!)

[Wolf]
FOUR 'ANICKED RO'ERS!!

[Twitch]
THE FUCKING WALL!! AAAGH!

[Hoxton]
Two years in jail!!

[Chains]
[sobbing]

[Vlad]
On the twelfth day Christmas
Payday gave to me:
Twelve bags of coke

[Clover]
Eleven doors to lockpick?!

[Bain]
Ten seconds response time

[Hostage Rescue Team]
All hostages gone

[SWAT]
Eight SWATs repellin'

[Tazer]
Seven tasers buzzing

[Bulldozer]
Six dozers charging

[Dallas]
Five bullets left (I'm outta fuckin' ammo!)

[Wolf]
WHERE'S THE GETAWAY?

[Twitch]
(screaming)
(crash)

[Ensemble]
And a broke-dick, piece-of-shit drill

[Chains] (Under)
Fuck my liife!

[Vlad] (Under)
Goddammit!

[Chains] (Spoken)
Fuck this! I'm getting an accounting degree. I'm just gonna go legit!

[SWAT] (Spoken)
Who puked in the back seat? Fuck!