[Verse 1]
The man without a tan came a-strollin' into town
He had the whitest collar anybody'd seen around
The girls were all a-drooling as they hummed a lullaby
The men were all suspicious but they didn't know just why

The man without a tan, he's a threat to you and me
He has the kind of hands that you might see on your TV
And if he touched your woman, how the hell could she resist?
I'm sure he'll entertain her with a little bit of Liszt

[Chorus]
Our rugged handsomeness is no match for
The man without a tan (x4)

[Verse 2]
The man without a tan, he had a walk around the town
He found our only restaurant and entered and sat down
He ordered Coca-Cola with some lemon but no ice
He reached into his pocket and he found his lucky dice

He finished up his cola and the waitress thought, "So soon?"
He looked a little bit like Gary Cooper in High Noon
He left to find a movie theatre, it was shuttered down
It seemed like there were lots of things that had been shuttered down
[Chorus]
Our rugged handsomeness is no match for
The man without a tan (x4)

[Bridge]
I overheard my girlfriend on her landline telephone
She thought I couldn't hear her but she really should've known
The man without a tan was on the line and being cute
I stood back in the shadows, I was fuming in my boots

[Outro]
Our rugged handsomeness is no match for
The man without a tan (x2)

Twenty years have passed and I'm the man without a tan
I'm here to take you 'way from every rugged man
The man without a tan (x2)

And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man"
(Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man")
The man without a tan (x2)

And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man"
(Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man")
The man without a tan (x2)
And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man"
(Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man")
The man without a tan