Don't you dare to shout she will serve you soon
And don't you dare knocking with a tea spoon
She's a barmaid

She won't bring the coffee to your table, my dear
You better come over it's self service here
She's a barmaid not your butler

Whatever she's doing don't you dare complain
You do that your coffee's down the drain
She's a barmaid she's no psychiatrist

She doesn't want you playing with the sugarcubes
She don't like you bending straws into loops
She's a barmaid she can't stand that

She doesn't want you kicking the pinball machine
You're no good doing James Dean
She's a barmaid she's not a talent scout

Teabags in the ashtray she doesn't like at all
And don't you kill the spider that is crawling
Down the wall
She's a barmaid she's good to animals

She don't like you staring at her tits all day
She can't stand lecherous boozers anyway
She's a barmaid she's not a pin-up girl
As sure as shit she don't wanna talk love
She don't want you cooing like a turtle dove
She's a barmaid she's not your girlfriend

She's waiting for a real man whoever he is
She knows he'd never come into a place like this
She's a barmaid she's good to animals