LEONARD: Okay, this next song... Uh, look. The name of the band is the Dickies. The lead singer wears striped tights. Uh, we do songs with titles like, "Gigantor." Naturally, people think that we're queer. This song deals with this particular malady, and it's on Second Coming, and it's called...


Going Homo!

I can't find a dame
They're always the same
Gonna shame my family name
'Cause I'm going homo

I always used to flirt
My feelings got hurt
I'm going out with Burt
I'm going homo

I'm going homo, what could I do?
I wouldn't give me AIDS if I were you
Going homo is the way to be when you're turning
Going homo today

My eyes on my pocket
My nose on the ground
People put me down
I'm going homo
Oh! Oh!
I can't relate
I am what I ate
My lifestyle's alternate
I'm going homo

I'm going homo, what could I do?
I wanna talk about it on Donahue
I'm going all the way to Miami
Going homo today

All of the questions I don't want to ask (don't want to ask)
Why did God make men with nipples? (put nipples on a man)
All of the girls I know, they're butterballs (butterballs)
They're all the same from the waist down
When they're wearing their gowns

I'm wise
I'm through with telling lies
Hanging out with guys
Going homo
Oh!

And I'm still here
I'm parking in the rear
The girls are shedding tears
I'm going homo
I'm going homo, what could I say?
We're living in Babylon today
I'm going all the way to Miami
Going homo today
Going homo today
Going homo today
Yeah, yeah

(Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah)
(Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah)
Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah
Ah ah-(ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah)

'Cause I'm a man (Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah)
Just for you (Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah)
[?]

(Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah)
(Ah ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah)

I'm going homo