Now, I'm the fella with a heart of gold
And the ways of a gentleman, I've been told
I'm the kind of a guy that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
The guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son-of-a-gun in the first degree

Oh, it's not because I don't smoke myself
Although I'm pretty sure they'll harm your health
But I've smoked all my life and I ain't dead yet
It's just that smoking slaves are all the same
At a bettin' party or a poker game
Everything gotta stop while they have a cigarette

Whoa, smoke, smoke, that cigarette
Yeah, puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette

Well, in a game of chance the other night
Old Dame Fortune was-a treating me right
'Cause the kings and the queens just, uh, kept on comin' around
So I played 'em hard and I bet 'em high
But my bluff didn't work on a certain guy
He kept on raising and laying his money down
Yeah, he'd raise me then I'd raise him
Oh, I sweated blood, I had to sink or swim
He finally called and didn't raise a bet
So I said, "Aces full, pal, how 'bout you?"
He said, "Well, I'll tell you in a minute or two
But just right now, I think I'll have a cigarette"

Whoa, smoke, smoke, that cigarette
Yeah, puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette

Yeah, smoke, smoke, that cigarette
Oh, puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette
Yes you just gotta have another cigarette
Give me a hit, son