Jonathan Larson
Christmas Bells
[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE]
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV - at SAKS

[SQUEEGEE MAN]
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living

[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE, SQUEEGEE MAN]
Can't you spare a dime or two?
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living
Here but for the grace of God go you
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living

[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE]
You'll be merry
I'll be merry
Though merry ain't in my vocabulary

No sleigh bells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No-

[SOLOIST]
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”

[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE]
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

No room at the Holiday Inn - oh no
And it's beginning to snow

[VENDORS]
Hats, Bats, Shoes, Booze
Mountain bikes, Potpourri
Leather bags, Girlie mags
Forty-fives, AZT

[VENDOR #1]
No one's buying
Feel like crying

[ALL]
No room at the Holiday Inn - oh no
And it's beginning to snow
[COAT VENDOR]
How about a fur
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down

[COLLINS, ANGEL]
You don't have to do this...
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas
I do not deserve you, Angel

Give, give
Wait
All you do
What's on the floor?
Is give
Give me some way
Let's see some more
To show
No, no, no, no-
How you've touched me so
Kiss me, it's beginning to snow
[MARK, ROGER]
...She said, "Would you light my candle"
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?

Right
She got you out!

She was more than okay
But I pushed her away
It was bad, I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight

Wait, wait, wait - you said she was sweet
Let's go eat
I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're dead meat

There! That's her!
Maureen?
Mimi!
Woah!
I should go

[MARK & ROGER]
Hey, it's beginning to snow

[COPS]
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

[MIMI & JUNKIES]
Follow the man, follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man, follow the man
Help me out, Daddy, if you can

[MIMI & JUNKIES, THE MAN]
Got any D, man?
I'm cool
Got any C, man?
I'm cool
Got any X?
Any smack?
Any horse?
Any joogie boogie boy?
Any blow?

[ROGER, MIMI]
Hey…

Hey...

I just want to say
I'm sorry for the way-
Forget it
I blew up

Can I make it up to you?
How?
Dinner party?
That'll do

[THE MAN]
Hey lover boy, cutie pie
You steal my client, you die

[ROGER]
You didn't miss me, you won't miss her
You'll never lack for customers

[JUNKIES]
I'm willin'
I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off

Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide, gotta go

[THE MAN]
And it's beginning to snow

[BENNY, spoken]
Wish me luck, Alison, the protest is on

[All-Skate pt. 1]

[JUNKIES]
Got any C, man?

[COAT VENDOR]
L.L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene
Burberry zip-out lining

[JUNKIES]
Got any D, man?

[SQUEEGEEMAN]
Honest living-

[ROGER, MARK & MIMI]
Mark, this is Mimi
Hi
She’ll be dining with us

[JUNKIES]
Got any B, man?

[COAT VENDOR]
Here's a new arrival

[THE MAN]
That is an ounce

[VENDORS]
Hats, dats, bats

[JUNKIES]
Got any crack?

[COLLINS]
That’s my coat!

[JUNKIES]
Got any X?

[COAT VENDOR]
We give discounts

[JUNKIES]
Got any C, man?

[MARK]
I think we’ve met

[ANGEL]
Let's get a better one

[COLLINS]
It’s a sham

[JUNKIES]
Got any D, man?

[MIMI]
That’s what he said

[THE MAN]
I said it’s a gram!

[COLLINS]
But she's a thief!

[JUNKIES]
Got any B, man?

[ANGEL]
But she brought us together

[BENNY]
Which investor’s coming?

[JUNKIES]
Got any crack?

[COLLINS]
I’ll take the leather

[JUNKIES]
Got any X?

[BENNY]
Your father?- Damn!

[All-Skate pt. 2]

[JUNKIES]
Got any C, man?
Got any D, man?
Got any B, man?
Got any X?
Crack?

I’m willin’
I’m illin’
Gotta get my sickness off
C-D help me
Follow the man, follow the man
Follow the man
Jugie boogie, jugie boogie

Follow the man, follow the man
Any crack, any X, any jugie boogie boy
Any blow, any X, any jugie boogie boy
Got any D, man? Got any C, man?
Got any crack, any X, any jugie boogie?

[POLICE OFFICERS]
I’m dreaming of a right Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know

Jingle bells
Prison cells

Fal la la la la
Fa la la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night
Holy night

Fall on your knees
Oh night divine
You’ll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la

[HOMELESS AND VENDORS]
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
In my dreams
Next year

Once you donate you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You’ll feel cherry
I’ll feel cheery
Tho’ I don’t really know that theory

No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappuccino maker
No pearls
No diamonds
No “chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no-

[COAT VENDOR, ANGEL, BOTH, COLLINS]
Twenty-five
Fifteen
Twenty-five
Fifteen
Twenty-five
Fifteen
No way, twenty-four
Fifteen
Twenty-four
Fifteen
Twenty-four
Fifteen
Not today, twenty-three
Fifteen
Twenty-three
Fifteen
Twenty-three
Fifteen, it’s old
Twenty-two
Fifteen
Twenty-two
Fifteen
Seventeen
Fifteen
Fifteen
Sold!

Give, give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way
To show
How you’ve touched me so

[MARK & ROGER, MARK, MIMI, ROGER]
Let’s go
To the lot
Maureen’s performing

Who’s Maureen?
His ex

But I am
Over her

[MIMI & ROGER]
I should tell you
I should tell you

[ROGER]
Let’s not
Hold hands yet

[MIMI]
Is that a warning?

[ROGER, MIMI, MARK, ALL THREE]
I just need
You just need
He just needs
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I-

[ALL]
And it’s beginning to
And it’s beginning to
And it’s beginning to…

[MAUREEN, spoken]
Joanne, which way to the stage!?

[ALL EXCEPT MAUREEN]
Snow!!!