[Intro: Macaulay Culkin & Roberts Blossom]
RB: "You've been a good boy this year?"
MC: "I think so."
RB: "You swear to it?"
MC: "No, I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. I really haven't been too good this year
RB: "Yeah."
MC:"I'm kind of upset about it, because I really like my family, even though sometimes I say I don't, sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?"
Fall on your knees
Oh, hear the angel voices

[Verse 1: Bastille]
O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of your dear Saviour's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn

[Verse 2: Bastille]
Fall on your knees
Oh, hear the angel voices
O night, divine
Oh night, relieves the morn
Fall on your knees
Oh, hear the angel voices
O night, divine
Oh night, when Christ was born
O night, o holy night
O night, divine
[Outro: Ralph Foody]
"Merry Christmas you filthy animal" [gunshots] "and a happy New Year!"