Within the town of Sutter Down
There is a tavern tale--
You never do think you to take a small drink you
Of Brannigan's Special Ale--
Start seein' things real funny
And given half a chance
Start swirling around and you'll then tumble down
And the mice on your head will all dance!

You'll see unicorns and dragons
And a castle made of gold--
A feast of all feasts with fantastical beasts
Of the likes which you've never been told--
You'll fly on a magic carpet
On a purple sea you'll sail--
You can talk to the fish because you had the wish
To drink Brannigan's Special Ale!

You may be a rich and noble king
In a castle great and grand--
You dare not go to sleep when you're counting the sheep
Of all the herds in the land--
The count is on a parchment
Which is stolen by a gale--
Losing count is quite dread, now you're losing your head
All from Brannigan's Special Ale!

You may be a powerful wizard
And know every kind of spell--
You know all of the names of the demons in flames
Even those who would never dare tell--
A beautiful lady seeks your craft
To make her skin more pale--
But your spell has gone wrong, now her nose is too long
All from Brannigan's Special Ale!

Perchance within this drunken dream
You'll think yourself a knight--
Whose been knocked off your horse, but it's all in due course
Your opponent has won the fight--
She strips off all her armor
Removes her dress of mail--
Try hard not to stare because you took the dare
To drink Brannigan's Special Ale!

I'm telling you my young friends
Here's not that can avail
You'll be lost forever, that's why you should never
Drink Brannigan's Special Ale!