[MONTAGU & CHARLES]

So ladies and- Hello!
What? No!
So ladies and- Charmed!
Try again, here we go
Ladies and gentleman we are gathered today to present our plan
Ladies and gentlemen, oh I don't know where I am
It's a genius scheme (yes)
A brand new team (uh-huh)
We really are a well-oiled- exactly!

[MONTAGU, spoken]
Johnny, picture the scene

[MONTAGU, sung]
What if a British pilot crashed his plane
Then washed ashorе in the south of Spain
His body forgotten, rotting in the sun
So wе've lost our man, our hideous hero
The Spanish get a whiff of him (ay dios mio!)

[MONTAGU, CHARLES, BOTH]
And then huh oh
I'm sorry no
Now you go
[MONTAGU, spoken]
You can do this Charlie

[CHARLES]
So they find our man

[BEVAN]
Yes I get the gist

[CHARLES]
And the briefcase we've fixed to his wrist

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
Jampacked with details of our next attack

[MONTAGU, spoken]
If you see what we're saying

[BEVAN]
But how does this send the Germans to Sardinia?

[MONTAGU]
Oh Johnny, I know that the suspense is killin' ya
Relax and we'll tell you all that you need to know

[CHARLES & MONTAGU, BOTH]
So as you're aware
Spain is rife (it's rife) with German spies
Who are bound to um
[JEAN]
Materialise!

[MONTAGU & CHARLES]
Right!

[MONTAGU]
Once they know the Spaniards have our boy

[CHARLES]
So our Allied Sardinian invasion plans

[MONTAGU & CHARLES]
Will fly on the sly into enemy hands
Telling Adolf exactly where to go

[JEAN, spoken]
He'll go to Sardinia!

[CHARLES, spoken]
Was that clear?

[BEVAN]
They'll do background checks

[MONTAGU]
We'll get his papers set
[JEAN]
We could fake his ID

[MONTAGU]
You know I'm pleased we met

[HESTER]
Jean, that's enough

[JEAN]
You need me here to pick up the slack

[BEVAN]
If we could maybe get back on track

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
We'll rewrite history, our cadaver will be
As traceable and real as you or me

[BEVAN]
And I trust that a body can be found
That would look to an expert freshly drowned?

[MONTAGU, spoken]
Now that is an interesting little- that's one for you, Charles, I think

[CHARLES]
Um, well-

[BEVAN]
I see

[MONTAGU]
Wait, Johnny you wanted bold ideas. This is your chance. Mincemeat is the plan you've been looking for to get us into Sicily

[sung]
We need to trick the Hun, get them off our tails
Mincemeat is the plan that could tip the scales

[CHARLES]
A Trojan Horse

[JEAN]
Or rather Trojan corpse

[MONTAGU]
Right!

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
They key to taking Sicily back by force
To win the fight it must be watertight

[BEVAN]
Find a body

[MONTAGU]
Yes Johnny

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
Now give us the green light
We've told you all you need to know
So just say yes and then we'll go

[BEVAN]
Fine, you have your orders

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
What?

[BEVAN & HESTER]
You have your orders

[CHARLES & MONTAGU]
Yes!

[COMPANY]
We have our orders

[BEVAN]
Now go