[MAN]
Oy! Looks like there's gonna be trouble!

[WOMAN]
Oooh-ee! He don't know who he's messin' with!

[MULTIPLE WOMEN]
Ah-ah!

[DRAG QUEEN]
Ladies! Gentlemen! And those who have yet to make up your minds!
IN THIS CORNER, LEAN AND BROWN
WEIGHING IN IN A GOLD LAME GOWN, YUH YUH
IN THIS CORNER, HERE TONIGHT!
IN THE CRADLE OF A BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT

[LOLA'S SUPPORTERS]
HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH!
HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY, YEAH
HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE!
HIT HIM SO EVERYONE CAN SEE
YEAH

[WOMAN]
Who do you think you are, coming out of town looking like a penny sardine on a five star plate? You better watch your back!
*various hooting and shouts*

[DRAG QUEEN]
IN THIS CORNER, HEAVY WEIGHT
BREATHING HEAVY LIKE A BUTTERMILK CAKE
CAN A REAL MAN
EVER CONFESS
HE WAS BEATEN BY A GUY IN A DRESS

[DON'S SUPPORTERS]
OOOH HIT HIM IN THE LIPSTICK
HIT HIM IN HIS FEMININITY YEAH
HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HEELS
HIT HIM IN THE CHEEK AND SEND HIM BACK TO LONDON-TOWN!

[FEMALE DON SUPPORTER]
Sequined freak

[FEMALE LOLA SUPPORTER]
Oooh, you are gonna get slapped, slapped, slapped!

[DRAG QUEEN]
Alright, alright, alright, listen up, you two. I want a clean, fair, but artfully performed fight. I don't want to see any blows below the belt, or any hairs out of place. Ooh, hang on darling, you've got a tick of lipstick on ya' teeth
Alright then! Get to your corners and come out fighting!

[FEMALE DON SUPPORTER]
He ain't half the man Don is!
[FEMALE LOLA SUPPORTER]
Uh, you can say that again

[LOLA SUPPORTERS]
IN THIS CORNER, WOW THE CROWD
TAKE HIM DOWN AND MAKE US LADIES PROUD

[DON SUPPORTERS]
IN THIS CORNER, DOMINATE!
SET HER UP, SO WE CAN SET HER STRAIGHT!

[DRAG QUEEN]
ROUND ONE!

[ENSEMBLE]
HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH!
HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY! YEAH
HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE
HIT HIM SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! OOH YEAH

*shouting*

[DRAG QUEEN]
Back to your corners, you beasts

[WOMAN]
? It'll keep you bouncy!
[WOMAN]
If you finish him off fast, we can still get kimchi at the Korean's!

[DON]
SO YOU GOT A GOOD SHOT, BUT DON'T GET COCKY!

[LOLA]
I AM PRETTY AS ALI AND TOUGH AS ROCKY!

[DON]
IF YOU'RE LUCKY I MIGHT LET YOU OFF EASY

[LOLA]
DON, YOU KNOW I GET EXCITED WHEN YOU TEASE ME

[FEMALE DON SUPPORTER]
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DON, YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE

[LOLA]
I FEEL LIKE A HAMMER!

[DON]
I FEEL LIKE A NAIL

[FEMALE DON SUPPORTER]
COME ON, DON, KNOCK HIM BLACK AND BLUE!

[FEMALE LOLA SUPPORTER]
HERE COMES AN UPPERCUT, A LEFT HOOK, AND A PIROUETTE TOO!

[DRAG QUEEN]
ROUND TWO!

[ENSEMBLE]
HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH
HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY, YEAH
HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE
HIT HIM SO EVERYONE CAN, EVERYONE CAN, EVERYONE CAN!

[DRAG QUEEN]
Un! Deux! Trois!

[DON SUPPORTERS]
YOU HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE
DON REALLY LET THAT BIG FIST
FLY, YEAH
HE HIT HIM WITH HIS BRUTE FORCE
NOW HE CAN HOLD HIS HEAD UP
HIGH
HIGH
HIGH
NOW HE CAN HOLD HIS HEAD UP HIGH!